Friday, 5 June 2015

Thank you

Thank you for being so good with our boys.  Thank you for teaching them compassion for animals and how to be gentle.  I know your ears and tail were pulled too hard many times when they were little, but you never snapped, never bit them. You endured the punishment as I taught them to be gentle.

Thank you for comforting MIL when FIL died.  She wanted nothing to do with you because you were an animal, but you sat at and on her feet and eventually, she caved and let you onto her lap and you sat with her for hours, many of those hours filled with her tears, I am sure.

Thank you for teaching Max and Dudley the ways of the world.  For teaching them to be obedient and respectful.

Thank you for drying my tears, both with your fur and with your tongue.  Thank you for being there when no one else was.

Thank you for the laughter you have brought to this family.  Thank you for the wonderful memories we will cherish forever.

Thank you for being part of our lives for 14 years.  You softened Hubster's heart and were such an integral part of our core family.  You were more than just a dog.  You were our daughter and sister.  You were important, smart and kind. Wait for me on the Rainbow Bridge my sweet girl.  I will look for you when my day comes.  I hope you will guide me over the Bridge to a wonderful place, where we will live together forever...happy, healthy and together.

I love you my Rosabelle. xoxo Pin It

The last day

Sad, angry, depressed, anxious, guilty, awful.

Rosie is so disconnected.  She has been for a while.  I want to love on her and cuddle her, but she will have nothing to do with it.  She had a bone covered in peanut butter just now.  I am cooking her a piece of chicken parm of her very own for dinner.  She will have a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup as her last snack tomorrow before the vet arrives at 1:30.  I have taken photos and videos.  I have just sat, looking at her and soaking up her sweet face.

I can't get my head around the fact that at this time tomorrow, she will be gone.  Although she has been disconnected and has not wanted to be touched or played with for the past few months, she has been here.  She will leave a hole that will take a long time to fill.

She's my girl.

And I love her so dearly.

I wish time would slow down.  It feels like I just brought her home for the first time yesterday and now, she is leaving us.  The guilt is awful. Pin It

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Rosie.

She's not "just a dog".  She is my daughter.  Yeah, if you're not a dog person, you think I'm nuts.  I don't care.

Rosie was the only other female in this house.  Ever.  Well, unless some of our fish were female, but who can tell with fish?

On June 22nd, 2001, I talked Hubster into going to see some Bichon Frise puppies that I found an ad for in the Toronto Star.  I had been bugging him for years to get a dog, but he was alway, "No, no, no."  Somehow, someway, I convinced him and we went to see them in Mississauga.  The backyard breeder brought out a little, tiny 8 oz ball of white fluff that fit in the palm of my hand.  Instantly, I fell in love.  Truth be told, so did Hubster.  We tried to play it cool, but we both knew we would take her as our own.

On June 24th, I went to Petsmart and got all the puppy essentials...bowls, a collar, a leash, a bed and a teeny tiny crate.  And we went to pick up our new baby girl.

She was lovely from the moment we got her.  So patient with our then 5 and 2 year old boys.  So smart and so loving.  She was the definition of a lap dog.  Attached to my hip from the beginning. I loved her so so much.

We took her to the vet for her initial check up.  She had ear mites, a heart murmur and was very underweight.  But no matter...she was ours and we knew we would nurse her back to perfect health.  And that we did.

Rosie has been a solid member of our family for 14 years now...well, it would be 14 years on June 24th. But she won't make it to that date. Our vet will come to our house this Saturday to put our sweet girl to sleep.  She has been suffering with what we think is Cushings Disease for about three years now.  Her eyesight is all but gone, she is covered in awful cysts that weep and bleed at the slightest touch, she is almost deaf, she is incontinent, has started vomiting and has arthritis all over her body.  She is old.  She is weak.  She is suffering.  And so, I had to make the most difficult decision I have ever, ever had to make.  As much as it kills me, it's time to let her go.  It's time to let her rest peacefully.  And I am utterly heartbroken.  I physically ache just thinking about it.  But, in my heart of hearts, I know it is the right thing to do.  It is the final decision I will make as her dog-mommy.  It is selfless because if I could keep her with me forever, I would.  But I can't.

And so, I soak in her sweet face every chance I get.  I watch her doing nothing.  I watch her sleep.  I pet her when she can tolerate the touch and I pray for her.  I know she will wait for me at the Rainbow Bridge.  I know she will leap into my arms when I meet her there one day.  And she will be healed and young and healthy.  And she will love me like she does today.

Thank you for 14 wonderful years Rosabella.  You will be sorely missed and will always stay in our hearts.




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