Friday, 15 May 2015

He's gone...again

My Boy Oneder is in Wasaga Beach with 23 of his friends.  Partying.  Probably drinking and God knows what else.  He will be 19 in June.  But he is still my baby.

I took him and 6 of his closest friends up to the beach this afternoon.  They are so cute.  The girls noticed the DVD screens and so I put on "Alice in Wonderland" for them...they were mesmerized the whole way up (1.5 hours).  Funny how in some ways, they are wonderful, respectful, responsible adults and in other ways, they are still so innocent and sweet.

I am very lucky in that Boy Oneder has chosen amazing friends.  All on honour roll.  All in universities.  All respectful.  All have beautiful souls.


They are at a shithole "resort", with cottages the size of a walk-in closet and with a ton of other kids who I either don't know or who are not the best in character.

So, although this is not my first kick at the can with having my kid away from home, unattended, I still worry.

When he was little, I worried about his health and whether he would scrape his knee at school.  But I had a leash on him.  And, ever so slowly, I let that leash get longer and longer.  Now, there is no more leash.  He is on his own.  And all I can do is pray that the values and morals I have taught him will prevail in a very tempting place.

I trust him.  Implicitly.

But I know the pressures of being 18.

Please God...keep him safe.  Help him to make the right decisions.  Let him have fun, but make it safe fun.

Amen. Pin It

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Happy Spring! err...Fall!

The weather here has been crazy.  We put the air conditioning on over the weekend because it was 28 degrees.  Today, we put the furnace back on because the high was 10 degrees.  WTH?

Shorts, pants, flipflops, jackets. UGH!

Looking forward to the normalcy of summer. Spring is too bi-polar for me!

In other news, Boy Oneder heads up to Wasaga Beach for a four day party with his friends on Friday.  Although it is easier this time than prom cottage last year, it's still scary to let your kid go away, unattended for four days.  He will be 19 in'd think I would accept the fact that he is an adult now...yeah, not so much.

On a sad note, Rosie won't be with us for much longer.  She turned 14 on April 26th and on the 29th, we took her and Dudley to the vet for their annual appointment.  The vet decided that she didn't need to be put through the trauma of bloodwork.  He examined her briefly and told us she was in pain...she has arthritis in her back.  I told him about her incontinence and the fact that she pretty much sleeps all the time.  I told him she drinks like a racehorse as well.  Her liver has been deteriorating for a couple of years now and we have suspected Cushings Disease all along, but the symptoms now have really shown themselves...excessive thirst, pot belly, cysts all over her body, skin infection on her inner thighs, incontinence.  She is also pretty much blind and we think she is going deaf as well.  And so, I asked the vet that awful question..."If you had to wager a bet, how long do you think she has left?"  His response was like a punch to the stomach, "Six months."  I started to cry.  I felt physically sick.  I thought he'd say a year.   I told him that my worst fear (and that of Middleman) was that she would be found dead one morning.  He said that rarely happens and that, probably, the time would come for us to put her down before died at home.  He said the three signs that she is on her way out are: loss of appetite, lack of excitement when I come home and incontinence.  So far, all she has is incontinence.  And so, I am torn.  She is lying in her bed right now, breathing loudly.  Her body is covered in horrible cysts that weep at the slightest touch and so she looks like a stray because bathing opens them all up.  But she wags her tail so hard her whole body wags when I haven't seen her for an hour or more and she eats like a champ.  The vet said to give her a 1/4 of a Tylenol twice a day and bring her back in a month.  The Tylenol seems to be making a bit of a difference, as she is up and about a little more, but she pooped in my van on the weekend. And she peed at Grandma's house.

So, I am really struggling with when to make the decision to end her life.  She may stay like this for a couple of years and right this second, I think she is OK.  But, I don't want her to get to the point that she is in pain.  I will live with guilt if I think that I am jumping the gun and so I have been watching her like a hawk since the appointment.  I hate this.  She is such a wonderful dog, but she hasn't been on our laps for many months.  She can't jump up and I am the only person who can pick her up without being snapped at.  Ugh.  I wish she could talk. I wish she could tell me, "It's time.  Please let me go."  But she can't.  So, I will continue to watch her and pray that when the time is right, either Rosie or God will let me know.  I hate this so much.

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Monday, 11 May 2015

Drive By...

  • Threepeat is 8.  His birthday was April 18th.  He had a great party at a lasertag place with 9 of his besties;
  • Threepeat also celebrated his First Communion on May 3rd. It was a beautiful day spent with our closest friends and family;
  • Boy Oneder is a TPT for Chrysler and a lumber associate for Home Depot. He is also finished his first year of university;
  • Middleman is doing amazingly well at school and is now a striker for his soccer team, moving up from defence;
  • Hubster is doing well too, like me, just trucking along :)
  • Rosie is on her last legs.  She is not in good shape.  She turned 14 on April 26th...her birthday gift was the message from the vet that she only has about 6 months left with us.  I don't think it will be that long.  She is nearly blind, nearly deaf, her liver is failing, she pee and poops without even knowing she is doing it.  She has arthritis in her back and cysts all over her body.  She's a mess.  So, we have her on Tylenol twice a day, which seems to have perked her up a little, but I am beginning the mental preparation for the day that we decide to put her to sleep.  It's heartbreaking;
  • And, to end on a happy note, spring has SPRUNG!  The weather has been GORGEOUS this past week!!!
Happy Monday :)
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