Tuesday, 10 April 2012

The BEST day of the year....


Today was annual physical day for me.  Ugh.  I hate this day like no other. 

Fasting for 12-14 hours, waiting forever in a stinky waiting room with all kinds of sick peeps, being violated by the doctor and then waiting in another stinky waiting room for the vampire nurse to take 15 viles (OK maybe it was only 3) of my precious blood. 

Now that it's over, my arm hurts from the needle and I have a headache because I didn't eat for 17 hours.  Yes, by the time I got food into my belly, I had gone SEVENTEEN hours without food.  Yes, I am a princess and my belly likes food.

My doctor was 40 minutes late for my appointment.  He was having issues with his new computer software, so I waited for the first ten minutes as he tried to navigate through my file on the computer.  Ugh.  We had a little chit-chat about my health and how I am being such a good girl with my new health kick and then it was time for him to step out while I undressed.  Ugh.  The room is ALWAYS freezing cold and he ALWAYS leaves me in there for ten minutes, shivering while I wait.

He came back in, checked my lungs (in great form thank you very much!) and then checked my blood pressure, which is a perfect 120/80.  He then had me lie down while he did a breast exam.  Clearly, men do not have breasts as sensitive as women because I think he felt my RIBS with the pressure he put on the girls!!  Anyhoo, next, it was time for the dreaded internal.  Lawdy Lawdy I HATE THAT.  I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that men have it made in the shade.  Man have their prostates checked every three years.  Women have to be checked internally every year.  How the heck is THAT fair?  Ugh.

Anyway, he did what he had to do and then I sat up and waited for another five full minutes while he tried to save and close my file.  If I wasn't half naked, I would have taken over the mouse myself just to get finished!  Did I mention the room was FREEZING???  Ugh.

Finally, he was done and we said our good-byes.  I got dressed and headed over to the lab for my bloodwork. 

Now, understand that I had my first two children without any drugs whatsoever.  Not because I am a martyr or I think I am superwoman or anything like that, but simply because I HATE NEEDLES.  I am TERRIFIED of needles.  So, to say that going to the lab to have blood drawn is my least favourite pastime would be a HUGE understatement. 

When I walked in, I was instructed to take a number and have a seat.  I picked up the next number...#20.  I sat down beside a very stinky old man and waited.  Two minutes later, they called a number...#3.  For the love of Pete...ugh.  I patiently waited, trying to breathe through my mouth so I didn't smell Mr. Stinkypants' B.O.  Next, in walks a woman and her son, "Rui".  He was about 2.  He had a very good set of lungs and a very bad temper.  He had three tantrums.  The nurse called number 8.  Ugh.  Not even halfway there.  Rui's Mom decided it would be a good idea to let him have her Iphone.  "Rui, do you want to watch Elmo?" she asks.  He grunts what I assume meant, "Yes" because Mamma gave him the phone and I hear the beginnings of  "I'm Elmo and I know It".  Have you heard this little ditty?  No?  OK...click down here and I will wait for you...

(cue Jeopardy music here)


Love it?

Yeah, not me.

Little Rui played it over and over and over and over.....you get my drift.  It was a good twenty minutes before the nurse finally called #20.  Praise the Lord.  The video is three minutes long.  That means I listened at LEAST seven more times.  And then he started to rewind the same part....over and over and over again.  Oh.my.goodness.  I wanted to rip my ears off!

I hated it before today, but now, I think I will chuck whatever electronic device I may hear playing this song out the window and perhaps the person playing said song will go with said electronic device.


It's been a DAY! Pin It

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