Tuesday, 7 February 2012

I hate to fly....have I ever told you that?

Hubster and I arrived at the airport at 7:15 am for our 10:05 Air Canada flight to Orlando for sales conference.  We got to the check in area and one of the ladies who worked there told us to use the machines to check in because it was much quicker.  So, Hubster tapped the screen and started entering all the information requested.  He scanned his passport and paid for his luggage.  He hits the "finish" button and gets an error "request cannot be completed". Sigh. A different lady tells us to go to the check in counter.  We check in and take our bags to the US Customs area. 

We stand in line for about half an hour and then get our boarding passes stamped and we were on our way...or so we thought...to the security area.  As we are walking towards the x-ray machines, a lady stops us and asks to see our boarding passes and passports. She tells us we have been chosen for a random second screening and to follow her.

We walk into this room with a bunch of Customs officers in there and tons of angry and sad looking people.  One lady was weeping softly as she sat waiting for her bags to be checked.  

The lady takes us to an x-ray machine and puts all of our bags (carry on included) into the machine.  She then proceeds to go through all of my things in my suitcase.  Finding nothing but hair supplies, make up, personal hygiene products and clothing, she opens Hubster's suitcase. Nothing exciting in there either, so she instructs us to closed our bags and walk through to security.  

We walk out, put our suitcases on the conveyor and stand in line for security.  Laptop and iPad out of bags, shoes off and we walk through the x-ray machine. The security lady asks if I want a personal search by a guard or if I want to go in the machine that supposedly shows all your parts once the pic is taken.  I choose the machine because to be completely honest, I wanted to see what I look like all skin and bones!  Alas, there was no pic to be seen...just a green light to say I was clear...no bombs stuck up my butt!

I get to the other side of the machine and dude asks me, "is this your bag?". I replied that yes, it was.  He said I had a water bottle in the and that water in containers more than 100 mls are banned so he took it. I argued that it wasn't even open, but he was merciless and took it away.  I bet that dude NEVER has to buy water!

Anyway, we get through security and I am bursting to use the washroom. Finally find it and feel MUCH better.  We walk to our gate. F69. Furthest gate away. Moving sidewalk is being repaired.  FML.

Finally get to the gate and chill out...by chill out I mean sit there, wringing my fingers, praying, hyperventilating and feeling sick while Hubster chilled.  Sigh. I HATE flying.

The oversold the plane and asked if anyone would mind taking the 4:30 flight instead.  I contemplated just giving up my seat and going home due to fear, but I sat quietly.

We get on the plane.  Row 28, seats A and B (window and middle). 

As the pilot is checking everything before leaving the gate, Joe notices this huge cloud of smoke as the engine revved.  I crapped my pants and started praying fervently. I kept asking Hubster what it was (because he would know, being a sales executive how an airplane is supposed to work, but he is my Hubster and he knows everything). Except this time, he didn't know and he just kept playing with me trying to freak me out.  There were lots of peeps down there on the tarmac, so I figured one of them must have seen it, so if it was a big deal, they wouldn't let us fly.  I tried to relax and pray a little more. 

Next thing, we are taxiing down the runway. We get to our position and wait for the go ahead to take off.  The engines rev up and we are speeding down the runway....faster, faster, faster.....slam! Brakes are kicked in, engine is thrown into reverse throttle and the wing flaps are raised.  We come to a stop at the end of the runway, everyone freaking out.  The pilot comes on the PA to say simply, "please remain seated". I am now close to tears with fear.  I must know we are going to die.  

He comes on a few (long) minutes later to say that the engines did not fire up as they had expected them to, so he had to make the decision to reject the takeoff.  He was taxiing to a position on the runway where he would contact maintenance and then probably take the plane back to the gate for check.  Sigh.

Fifteen (long) minutes later, he comes back on to say that they believe the problem was with the computer, NOT the aircraft itself so they were rebooting the computer and waiting for the brakes to cool off and would attempt takeoff again in about ten minutes.  For the love of God, I was BESIDE MYSELF!!!!  this was it....my life was going to end.  I prayed hard, tried to control my breathing and repented for my sins.  I held Hubster's hand and prayed that God take care of our children.  

True to his word, ten minutes later, we were taxiing back down the runway for our second attempt at takeoff.  The engines revved up, my heart kept pace with the 100000000 or so RPMs of those engines and we were speeding down the runway while I hid my head in my neck pillow so no one would see the terror on my face.

Hubster kept saying that we should be in the air by now and trying to freak me out (yeah he loves me dearly). Finally, we were off the ground.  But I didn't even begin to relax until the seatbelt sign sent off and the flight attendants stood up...that's my safe cue...if they get up, chances are, everything is OK...for now.

So I settle in, snuggling with Hubster while he slept. The flight up until a few minutes ago has been very smooth.  We just went through some turbulence and actually as I type this sentence, the seat belt sign has just been turned off so I think Ed are good for a while again.  Damn I hate flying...have I mentioned that????

It is currently 12:50. We left at about 11:00, so we should have Bout 40 minutes left. 

Praying we survive the landing. Gulp.....

And it is now 3:45 and I am sitting in Wreckers Sports bar, waiting for my fish and chips while I sip on a Bud Light. The landing was very uneventful and we survived!!!  Yay!  And cheers!

I won't be seeing much of Hubster now as he is off pre-registering and then registering for the reception. I miss him already, but my trusty iPad will keep me company! Pin It

1 comment:

Kate said...

Drama queen!!!

Enjoy your trip! Please post pics of your room and the pool and the lobby and your food.... I need to live vicariously through you.

Love you.

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