Friday, 18 November 2011

Finding Jesus

I can't begin to tell you how much Alpha has changed my life.

God has found me and I have answered His call. I know, that sounds really cooky and Bible-thumperish. But hear me out...

I started 6 weeks ago, on the advice of my Mum, who has taken the Alpha course more than once and some friends, who all say it is amazing and that it changed their lives. I have struggled for years with anger, hate, hurt, sadness and turmoil. I needed to find peace and happiness. I have found it.

Nicky Gumbel, the founder of Alpha speaks to us through weekly DVDs about Christianity. In his DVDs, he has removed the rules of any given church and just talked to us about who God is and the way He speaks to us, teaches us and guides us. It's basically the who, what, when, where, why and how of Christianity. It just makes sense. After the 45 minute DVD, we sit for the next 45 minutes to discuss the topic and how it affected us, what we thought and any questions we have. There are table leaders who guide the conversation and ask us open-ended questions to encourage us to talk about the video and its message. Topics include things like "How does God Guide Us", "Who Was Jesus", "Why Did Jesus Die?" and "How to Pray". Interesting, compelling and riveting. Through these classes, I have met such kind, gentle, loving, accepting people. They are all like me, eager to fill the void that no money, person, career or material luxury can fill. A yearning for a peace that we hadn't found, but we have found together.

So many "Christians" have tried to "convert" me to their way of thinking. Their judgmental and opinionated, literal way of looking at the Bible and how everyone should view it turned me off of religion altogether. By forcing their ways down my throat, they pushed me further away from wanting to know God.

Thanks to Nicky and his Alpha program, I have changed my outlook on life. I have forgiven and even started to pray for the person who has hurt me most in this world. I feel SORRY for her. I pray for her healing so that she doesn't live such a sad, angry, resentful life. Through the friends I have met at Alpha and the prayers they say for me, I have been able to accept the life I have, and embrace the blessings instead of dwelling on the crosses. I am truly amazed. And we are only halfway through the program!!

God has spoken to me. I now have faith that He exists and that He wants what is best for me. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to let go of the hurt and embrace the love. Although I will never let the forgiven person hurt me again, I have forgiven her for her evilness (is that a word?) in the past. I am able to move forward with a renewed outlook. I think I can face her now and not feel sick for days before I see her. We will never be friends, but I think I can be in a room with her and not feel physically ill the entire time...all thanks to my newfound relationship with God.

Who woulda thunk that He had my back all this time? All I had to do was open my heart and let Him in. I can't believe how much time I have spent hating and sick with depression when He has been here all the time, waiting for me to wake up and smell the Nabob! (DUH!)

I highly recommend this program, no matter what denomination of the Christian faith that you practice (or don't practice). All denominations offer this course at various times, so your local Christian church, whether it be Catholic, Presbyterian, Baptist, United....whatever...chances are, at some point, they will hold this class at their church. Twelve weeks of common sense. It will only take a few of those weeks for you to see life with a whole new set of eyes and a happier, more peaceful heart. No judgement, no expectations...just open, honest conversation. Check it out...you'll be glad you did. Pin It

1 comment:

Kate said...

Best. Post. Ever.

Very happy for you, Dawn. So happy.

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