Friday, 22 July 2011

Bearing a cross

We all carry our crosses. Some of us have little itty bitty toothpicks stuck together with crazy glue and others have humungous 50 foot logs, tied together with heavy chains. Sometimes, the itty bitty tootpicks get HUGE and are almost unbearable to carry and those honkin' logs sometimes shrink down to little toothpicks. Then there are people whose crosses are somewhere in between. We all carry our crosses EVERYWHERE we go, EVERY day of our lives.

Envy and jealousy of others is what can make your toothpicks turn into logs in the blink of an eye. Looking at "John" and his seemingly small cross makes me angry on the days when my cross is bearable liftable. I get to feeling all sorry for myself and angry as heck because *I* deserve a smaller burden to carry than that damned "John"! I have lots of days like that. But, in the past, I neglected to think that maybe to John, his toothpicks felt like lead. On the outside, his life was wonderful, but no one knows what is going on INSIDE...depression, anger, frustration...

But lately, something has changed. Lately, I don't look at "John" anymore. I am now looking at "Jane" who has a MASSIVE cross to bear. She may have a sick child, may be sick herself, may have lost her husband or her best friend. She may cry every night because of fear or she may have no food to put into her family's bellies.

I am so blessed in my life. I have healthy, beautiful, smart, GOOD boys. I have a wonderful, loving husband. I have a Mommy who loves me and a chosen few friends who stick by me through ANYTHING. I have a beautiful house, cars, all the gadgets I could ever wish for, an abundance of food for my family and most importantly, we all have our health. It soounds lovely right? Just typing that out made me feel good. :)

But, it's not all roses and rainbows. I have very, very low days. Lower than you can even imagine, where my cross is crushing my spine. Missing my Daddy and my sister every single day. Getting through the day sometimes seems impossible. But I have found that lately, I am thinking of things from a glass half full perspective. I'm not sure what changed, but the most important thing is that it HAS changed. I no longer let anger and hatred hang off of my cross. I no longer have expectations of anyone. If someone wants to do something nice for me, I appreciate it, but I no longer expect it because it is what *I* would do.

I have rid myself of much guilt, anger, sadness and oh so much drama. And I am truly a better person for it. My cross has gone from logs to toothpicks and I am able to walk proudly with that itty bitty cross on my shoulders. I think it's also enabled me to help others when their cross is too heavy to bear. I am fun to be around again! ;o)

So, next time you are having a log heavy cross day, look around you...I guarantee you that if you look hard enough, you will find someone who is sruggling to stand on their feet from the weight of THEIR cross. Maybe on that day, you can put your cross down for a minute and help them carry theirs. :) Just a thought.

Have a great weekend! Pin It

Monday, 18 July 2011

Crazy Busy

Workdays are nutso busy.

Evenings are worse:

Mondays: Middleman has a soccer game at 7:00. He has to be there at 6:00. Boy Oneder has hockey at 8:00...he has to be there by 7:15. I HAD cooking classes. I missed last week because of the accident and asked to move last week's class and tonight's class to the next session they offer because now we are also down a car (MIL's car is totalled).

Tuesdays: Threepeat has his soccer practice at 6:40 and his game is at 7:10. Hubster is the coach, so they are at the field from 6:15 to 8:15.

Wednesdays: Middleman has soccer practice from 6:00 to 7:30.

Thursdays: Middleman has soccer practice from 6:00 to 7:30. Threepeeat has swimming lessons fromn 6:30 to 7:00.

Fridays: Boy Oneder usually has a hockey game at 7:00 or 8:00.

Saturday mornings: Middleman has soccer practice from 9:00 to 10:30. He has to be at the field by 8:45. Hubster and Boy Oneder deliver bouncers.

Sunday: Middleman, Boy Oneder and Hubster deliver bouncers while Threepeat and I do the housework and laundry.

Sigh...

I wouldn't change a thing. :o) Pin It

Thursday, 14 July 2011

On the mend

Thank goodness, MIL and Boy Oneder are on the mend.

On the advice of our insurance company, I took Boy Oneder to a physiotherapist for an assessment last night. He believes that Boy Oneder has torn some muscles in his neck and recommends physiotherapy twice a week for three months. :(

He can't play hockey or exert himself until further notice.

But he's alive. And will recover fully...God willing.

Mentally/emotionally, he's a bit of a wreck (excuse the pun) and he actually asked me to sleep with him last night. :( I am hoping that the anxiety and emotional scars will also heal over time.

MIL is recovering as well. She looks like she's been, well, in a car accident, and is bruised up pretty badly, but otherwise, she's OK.

Thank you to everyone for their thoughts and prayers. I appreciate them more than you know. Pin It

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Scary, scary night

Last night, I had cooking class, Boy Oneder had a hockey game and Middleman had a soccer game. Hubster had two bouncers to pick up as well, so needless to say, it was a hectic night.

We asked Middleman's coach to take him to the game and the arrangement was that Hubster and Boy Oneder would pick up the bouncers, then drop off the trailer at home, pick up MIL and Threepeat and head over to Boy Oneder's game, while I was at cooking class. Middleman's coach would bring him home after the game. I had arranged for my neighbour to watch out for Middleman when he got home because no one else would be here and I was uncomfortable with him coming home alone.

That was the plan.

But, things changed. Middleman went off to his game with his coach, just before I left for cooking class. Apparently, Hubster and Boy Oneder got the bouncers and then for whatever reason, Hubster decided to take Threepeat and go to Middleman's soccer game. MIL drove Boy Oneder to his hockey game. Well, that was the plan...

At about 7:30 last night, while I was learning how to make mushroom risotto, my cell phone rang. I answered and it was Boy Oneder.

"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"I'm OK. Everything is OK...don't freak out because I am fine."
(I freak out)
"What's wrong???"
(SIDEBAR: On Sunday, Boy Oneder was complaining a little of chest pain and thought it was his asthma. He had lost his ventolin puffer, but ended up being OK, so I hadn't called the doctor for a repeat presecription yet. My first thought was that he had had an asthma attack and couldn't breathe, so I was a bit freaked out)
"Mom...don't worry OK...I am FINE."
"WHAT?? WHAT HAPPENED??"
"I'm OK Mom...Nanna and I were in a car accident"
"OH MY GOD...is Nanna OK? What happened?"
"Everything is OK...I need you to pick us up."
"OK..I am coming now...where are you?"
""
"OK...I will be there in a few minutes...are you really OK?"
"Yes...well...the paramedic wants to speak to you"
"OMG! "

The paramedic explains that they are both pretty banged up and bruised and that they are burned from the airbag dust. He says they are OK but that Boy Oneder has some ringing in his ears. He said that MIL and Boy Oneder both didn't want to go in the ambulance but that because Boy Oneder is a minor, I had to be the one to make a decision. I asked him in his professional opinion whether he recommended that they go and he said that he thought it was a good idea to go just to be safe. I asked him if he could wait ten minutes for me to get there and he agreed.

I ran out of the cooking school with everyone telling me to be careful and to call them to update and got into my van.

I got to the scene and the ambulance and police were there. The firefighters had left already (they had to spray MIL's car as it was smoking). I ran over to Boy Oneder and hugged him tight, asking if he was really OK...he said yes. I looked at MIL and asked her if she was OK and she nodded. I then assessed my boy's injuries. His neck was badly burned and he was holding ice on it. His jaw bone has a nasty cut and burn and was swollen to the size of a large grape. I then looked at MIL. Her arm was all misshapen and bruised and I instantly thought it was broken, but the paramedic said it wasn't. She had a burn on her cheek and neck and a cut on her knee. The paramedic asked me what I wanted to do and I asked if we would get fast tracked at the hospital if they arrived in an ambulance. He said no and so I told him to go and take care of someone who needed him and that I would take them to the hospital. He was so lovely.

Boy Oneder told me that MIL was driving east and just as she reached the intersection, the light turned yellow. He said that she was close enough to the intersection that she could not have stopped even if she slammed on the brakes, so she made the right decision and kept going. The man in the other car was turning left and she hit him in the intersection on the rear passenger door. Thank God, no one else was in his vehicle. He was not hurt at all, but said he was achy.

Next, I looked at MIL's car. The front end was crushed, the windshield was smashed and the two airbags were hanging out. It was awful. I started to shake, thinking how much worse this accident could have been.

I then went to speak to the police officer. I asked him if he needed anything from me and he said he was trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together on what happened. He asked me to hang out for a few minutes while he worked it all out.

I then spoke to the other driver. He told me that MIL hesitated before going through the intersection. He thought she was going to stop, so he proceeded. When he realized that she wasn't going to stop, "I gunned it but it was too late." I asked Boy Oneder afterwards if MIL braked at all...he said "Definitely not. She didn't accelerate either...she just kept going." I asked him if the light was red and he again said absolutely not. Right before the airbag deployed, the light was still yellow. He was 100% sure.

So, it sounds to me like the other guy was at fault. The police officer told me that there were too many different accounts from witnesses, etc. that he couldn't ascertain who was at fault, so no charges would be laid. He told me to call the insurance company in the morning and recommended that I take them to the hospital.

We took all of MIL's belongings from the car, as well as Boy Oender's hockey equipment and headed to the hospital. We had been trying to get Hubster on his cell phone, but, of course, he had left it in the Jeep. Ugh...men.

Because Middleman's soccer game was right en route to the hospital, I decided to go by there so that Hubster could take MIL and Boy Oneder to the hospital and I could take Middlemand and Threepeat home. Hubster freaked out and asked all the questions I had asked them and then they transferred into his Jeep and were off to the hospital. I told Boy Oneder to leave his Blackberry on so that I could keep in touch.

The hospital was jam packed and they were there from 8:45 until after midnight. Boy Oneder's diagnosis was burns to the face, jaw and neck, cut on his stomach, bruise on his upper arm and mild concussion. He was given a prescription for his ventolin, especially in case the air bag dust caused him breathing trouble. They did a full neurological exam and checked all his vitals, ears, chest, etc. and he was done. They told Hubster to wake him every couple of hours to ensure that he would be OK with the concussion. MIL had x-rays on her arm and leg, but thankfully, no breaks. Burns to her cheek and neck (not as severe as Boy Oneder) bad bruise on her forearm and knee and a bruise on her nose from the airbag hitting her glasses.

By the time they got home after going to the pharmacy to get the puffer, it was close to 1:00 am. I slept with Boy Oneder so that I could keep waking him through the night and we had a long talk before falling asleep. He wanted to talk it all out and I thought that was a good idea for him. I think we fell asleep around 2:00 and like clockwork, I woke him briefly every 90 minutes. MIL says she didn't sleep a wink because it kept going over and over in her mind.

I called the insurance company this morning and the case is open. They will call me once there is something to report. In the meantime, we wait and hope that MIL is not found to be at fault. There will be no charges, but she will be responsible for any costs (towing, impounding, etc.) is she is at fault. I don't think she will as she did not run a red light. I probably would have done exactly what she did, just based on what Boy Oneder said happened.

I am so very thankful that they are OK...when I looked at her car and saw just how extensive the damage was, I felt sick thinking about what could have been. God and his three angels, Joanne, my Dad and Hubster's Dad, took care of them last night. Man oh man, praise the Lord.

Thank you to everyone who sent well wishes and prayers on Facebook last night. I have the best friends EVER. Pin It

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

My smart boy

This is Middleman's report card. I am SO stinking proud of him!!!



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Monday, 4 July 2011

Cooking Class #2

Tonight is class #2!! I can't WAIT til 6:00!!!

I promise to take my camera tonight.

:o) Pin It
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