Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Bringing it back to what it was...

When I started this blog back in 2005, it was therapy for me. My Dad had passed away and I vented, cried and prayed through my blog. I had the odd meme, but my blog was my diary. It was a snapshot of my life. It didn't matter if anyone ever read my was MY blog, MY diary.

I have lost that. I find that I am struggling to find things to fill the pages, terrified that I will lose the few regular readers that I have because I am boring. But that is not what I started a blog for! I don't know how I got caught up in the hype that the blogosphere generates...who can get more followers, who gets more hits, who is more popular? It's draining. It's negative. It's silly really.

I have taken a serious look at my life over the last few days and I don't like what I see. I don't know what prompted me to re-evaluate, but I have and my priorities are WAY out of line. I am disgusted at myself. I don't know when I became the miserable, negative, unloving, judgmental person that I am, but it's time to bring the old Dawn back. The old Dawn was full of love and hugs for her boys; the old Dawn tried to see the good in people; the old Dawn wasn't so full of hate and anger. I like the old Dawn better.

And so, I have removed all of the links to other blogs from my sidebar. I have removed the followers. I have removed anything that would advertise someone else's blog from my sidebar. I am sorry if I have offended you by removing your link, but I really think that I need to make my blog MY blog again. I need to know that when people read me, they are really READING me. That they are getting the REAL Dawn...not the blog pimp that I have become. I will also no longer be using Twitter, which I never really "got" anyway and which is just a huge marketing, pimping, advertising site anyway.

I'm not going to pretend that all of my posts are going to be rainbows and sunshine...that's not the point of getting back to basics. The point is that my blog will be a starting point for me to begin seeing life in a new light. I want to get back to seeing the good in people, not assuming that everyone is out to get me. I want to stop hating. I want to lose the anger and frustration that has filled my days for months on end. It's truly unhealthy. I want to live for ME and my family, not for other people and their expectations. I want to lose the expectations I have of others and just, well, just LIVE.

I am looking to surround myself in positive energy and I hope that I can share positivity with others. I know it sounds really corny, but I genuinely mean it. I want to be a better person...I want to be the person that people say is "happy", "positive", "content"...and I will be. Daily affirmations, reading positive books and prayer will get me there.

So, let's get back to basics. If I lose your readership because of this change, please accept my apology for disappointing you, but I know that this is where I need to go. I cannot live my life in such a negative state anymore and my blog will be the first step to being a better person. I have been told many times that this blog has been a source of comfort and therapy for many people and I want to get back to that again.

--Be the change that you wish to see in the world...Ghandi-- Pin It


mapsgirl said...

They always say that January is the wrong time to be making "resolutions" so your February is off to a great start!

Hope you don't mind if I keep your blog in my blogroll. I like for my readers to see what other stuff my fellow bloggy-friends are up to.

My Three Sons said...

Thanks Wendy...Absolutely leave me in your blogroll...I want to be able to help others if I can...xoxo

Proud Parents of Halainah Grace said...

I was in the same spot as you a couple of months back. I even felt like some other bloggers were in competition with me. I started playing all the "follow along" games that got people to come to your blog. When I realized I only received comments on those days that I played and received none when I blogged about "real life issues." I asked myself what I was doing. It's so much better on this side. And...I'm still following!

My Three Sons said...

Thanks are such an inspiration!

Karin said...

I've always read you because you are you. I never cared about who was on the roll or what little decoration you won. LOL

I totally understand what you mean. My blog is updated so far and few between, I KNOW only the people who really want to read it - read it....and I only post if I have something to say. (Obviously not very often!)

Whether you post a ton or just every once in awhile...I'm a reader cause I'm interested in Dawn.

Jen said...

"The old Dawn was full of love and hugs for her boys; the old Dawn tried to see the good in people; the old Dawn wasn't so full of hate and anger. I like the old Dawn better."

That was the Dawn I met 4 years ago, the Dawn that I was drawn too. I would love to see her again. I know she's in there and God will bring her out.

Kate said...

Looking forward to seeing the "old Dawn" again, friend.


Karen said...

I feel the same sentiments as Karin. When I first found your blog I continued reading because I felt a connection with DAWN. The other "stuff" on your blog didn't interest me at all. No offense! LOL
I enjoy my too infrequent time spent with you, you are FUN, upbeat, loving and I always come away feeling great!
Love you for who you are! xo

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