Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Us 2 - Pig Flu 0

Dear Pig Flu:

You snuck up on us and hit WAAAAY below the belt. You hit us from behind, knowing we had no idea you were there. We had no equipment and you sent your strongest goon in to the corner. First, you took down our strongest player, Middleman. You beat him, you roughed him up, you were VERY unsportsmanlike. And then, when Middleman was at his weakest from your beating, you sent in your friend, pneumonia. Low blow man, low blow. There was more beating, more hitting him when he was down and more sneaky, low blows. We had nothing to defend us but the power of prayer. And you know what? My boy prevailed. He is still weakened by your blows and will be for some time. He coughs like an old smoker and he gets winded very quickly. BUT...we have Biaxin and Ventolin on our side. He WILL be strong again.

Then, just as we were celebrating Middleman's triumph, you snuck up on us again...this time, taking our weakest player, our youngest and most inexperienced...you took Threepeat, you coward. Again, you snuck up from behind when we least expected you. You let us have a couple of days to think we were in the clear, but you struck again. But, THIS time, we were prepared. We rushed Threepeat to the sidelines and the team doctor armed us with Tamiflu...your worst enemy. Tylenol, Abenol, Motrin, Advil and the power of prayer were put on the field for our team. You fought, causing high fevers and a horrible cough. You took his appetite and made him weak, you caused him to vomit until there was nothing left in his little tummy, but this time, you had some competition. This time, we fought back. I am proud to say that today is only day 3 and Threepeat is fever free and the team doctor has declared that his lungs are "clear as a bell". He is no longer vomitting and his appetite is slowly returning. His energy level is near normal (God help me) and he is getting stronger by the hour.

Tamiflu is our hero. It has cut you back down to the level where you belong. It has stopped you in your tracks you evil, nasty virus. We despise you. We will fight you again if necessary. We WILL prevail.

Good riddance.

Us. Pin It

1 comment:

Limey Girl said...

Great post.
Glad Juleszilla will soon be back to his normal self!
My but your house must be quiet...aside from the coughing! xoxo

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