Thursday, 22 October 2009

Italians...

OMG I laughed at this today. I received it in an email and just HAD to share it here...The true Italians will love this; those of you who are married to Italians will understand this; and those of you who are friends with Italians will share it with them.

Italians have a $40,000 kitchen, but use the $259 stove that's 20 years old.

There is some sort of religious statue in the bedroom, hallway, living room, front porch or backyard.

A portrait of the Pope, La Madonna or Padre Pio in the dining room.

Complaints our parents had about takeout Foods:

Mikkadonalds - too mucha grease "Porcheria",
Chinese Food - they eata the snakes and cats - Schifo",
Pizza Pizza - I can make da same pizza for $2.00 - you pay $20.00!

The following are Italian Holidays: (food food and more food)

February or October weekends are for sausage making;
1st weekend in October - Grapes for the Wine;
July and August - Freeza i fagiolini and piselli
In August/September – Tomatoe making for the sauce.
"EH...no maka no plans we worka in da garage

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef. Italians don't care about cholesterol.
Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the antipasto, pasta, gnocchi and lasagna . Later on we have da Barbaque with da Spiducci and Bistecca.

Sunday dinner was at 1:00 - After da Church (and you better go...God watch you!)The meal went like this..

Table is set with everyday dishes (UNLESS, Zio Luigi is visiting from Italy ... then we take out the dishes in the velvet suitcase).
All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on the left.(Nonno's Fork has been widened to spear more pasta).
Home-made wine in recycled wine bottles with a twist top (Unless Zio Luigi is visiting from Italy ....then we use the crystal Caraf
First course, Antipasto...change plates.
Next, Maccheroni (Nonna called all pasta Maccheroni)...change plates.
After that, roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes, vegetables....change plates.
THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL), would you eat the salad (HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR (Last years wine DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.
Next, Fruit, Nuts & LUPINI (on paper napkins because you ran out of dishes by now).
Coffee (Espresso for Nonno, "Canadese"(Canadian) coffee for the rest)
Hard Cookies with the almonds to dip in the coffee.

The kids go play...the men go to talk soccer. ...The women clean the kitchen and gossip about "il figlio di Maria" or someone that's dying.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - Half the sentence in English, the other half in Italian. Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you in the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen while you're in the livingroom.

Wedding Day - the more, the merrier and there better be lots of food or Giovanni will complain and then I'ma gonna you kill boat.

Baptism - Who's going to be the compari? Not those sciangati gente, they're not going to be able to afford the necklace.

LOL!!! Pin It

1 comment:

Rocca said...

You liked that one, did ya?

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