Saturday, 15 July 2006

My latest pet peeve...and it's a DOOZY!




My husband has a new hobby….snoring.

I thought I’d get a little creative with this post and looked up “snoring” on thesaurus.com

Here’s what I found:

Main Entry:
asleep

Part of Speech:
adjective

Definition:
unconscious

Synonyms:
comatose, conked*, crashed*, dead, dormant, dozing, dreaming, flaked out*, hibernating, in dreamland*, in repose, inactive, inert, napping, out*, out cold*, reposing, resting, sacked out*, sawing logs, sleeping, slumbering, snoozing, snoring, somnolent


Roget’s New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.2.1)Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.* = informal or slang

Amazingly, many of these words are very appropriate…

comatose? yep…that’s himconked? yepcrashed? yepdead? well, not really, but believe me, after two hours of this incessant noise, it’s wishful thinking!


dozing? umm…no…he’s definitely not dozing


dreaming? Only if he is dreaming about earthquakes or freakin’ jet engines!


flaked out? oh yes!


hibernating in dreamland? I guess he kinda does sound like a bearin repose? Nah…too elegant of a word to describe this noise!


inactive? Hell yes! The only thing active about him is his throat!


inert? Had to look that one up…”unable to move or act” LMAO! Yes!


napping? nope…much more than napping, but he DOES snore while napping as well


out? yep


out cold? even more yep!


reposing? nope…much too mild a description


resting? Maybe HE is, but I sure as hell am not!


sacked out? BIG time


sawing logs? Yep…really massive HUGE logs


sleeping? How on God’s green earth he can sleep while breaking the richter scale record is beyond me, but, yes, he is sleeping…and again, I am not!


slumbering? I’m going with no. “Slumbering”, to me, represents peaceful, wonderful sleep. slumbering while causing the house to vibrate is not humanly possible


snoozing? nope…snoozing is a nice little nap. This is not nice, nor little.snoring? Yep…that’s what I’m talking about!


somnolent? I had to look this one up as well…”drowsy, sleepy, inducing or tending to induce sleep…yes, yes, no, NO. I am drowsy, I am sleepy, but he is in NO WAY inducing or tending to induce sleep!

This begs the question…who in the world came up with the idea of sleeping with your spouse once you get married? It is ridiculous. His snoring is getting worse over the years and I am getting less and less sleep. He says I am exaggerating…that it isn’t THAT bad. But it IS that bad. I don’t understand how he doesn’t wake HIMSELF up along with the rest of the neighbourhood!

And so, my loyal blog-readers….do any of you have any true-blue tricks to ending this torture? I can’t kill him, I can’t maim him and I won’t divorce him…so…what can I do to stop it? What worked for you?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ………………
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2 comments:

Julie said...

he wouldn't snore if he would use his CPAP!!!
No wonder you're waking up so many times in the night...Poor D - hope you get some sleep soon!

mapsgirl said...

I'm with Julie on this one. If he needs a nap, it's most likely becuase he's not getting a full, restful sleep at night (and therefore you aren't either). Since getting his CPAP, my hubby doesn't nap much anymore cuz he sleeps so well at night.

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