Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Worry, worry, worry

Threepeat is sick. I mean REALLY sick. Sicker than he's ever been and sicker than I ever remember the other boys ever being.

The doctor believes it's rotovirus...yeah, you know, the one I declined to give him the vaccination for (DAMMIT!) as well as two "very, very red ears which are borderline infected". She prescribed an antibotic and said to keep him hydrated. Yeah..good times when he won't eat ANYTHING and getting him to take any kind of fluid is like pulling teeth.

I do not handle my babies' sicknesses well. Now that Boy Onder and Middleman are older, I can handle it...after all, you can reason with them and explain things and they can actually tell you what hurts. When they were little like Threepeat, I would panic, watching every breath all night long, sick to my stomach with worry. Threepeat's situation is no different. I ate a bagel this morning and two crackers just now. The only reason I ate the crackers was because I had to take my anitibiotic for my sinus infection. I feel no hunger at all...just panic, anxiety and worry. It's awful. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I never fell asleep...not once. Tonight will be no different.

I become a different person when he is sick...I can no longer think clearly, nor act rationally. I go into "What if" mode and ALWAYS think worst case scenario. Even though the worst case scenario never happened with my other two, I can't get my brain to understand that babies get sick. He is otherwise a healthy, HUGE (35 lbs) boy with lots of weight to spare for these horrible occasions. My crazy side just keeps picturing him in a hospital bed.

This "affliction" is the one thing I would pay ANYTHING to change. I wish I could just deal with my child's illness like every other mother...with NORMAL worry. I can't even adequately explain the horrible feeling I have and WILL have until he is better.

Any other nutcases like me out there?

Tim Hortons Roll Up the Rim:
Day One: Large: Please play again.
Day Two: Large: Win a Coffee - WOOT!
Day Three: Large: Please play again.
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2 comments:

Karin said...

Sorry to hear about the baby. Poor little guy. I think it's worse for babies because like you said, when they get older - they can give you some feedback...when they are babies- we feel so dang helpless! Just give him lots of love (and fluids) and hopefully he'll feel better very soon! {hugs} for both of you...

Limey Girl said...

You're not alone...you've described me to a "t"! I totally, completely understand!
It's the worse thing a Mum can go through...I too wondered how other mums handled it without driving themselves nuts as I did? I knew mums who went out leaving their sick babies with sitters...I never even left my babies with MY MUM when they were sick! Nobody was going to be with them, care for them BUT me!
I didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't sleep...worry consumed every second, minute, hour, day....so yes I can totally understand.
All you can do is be there for him and try to take care of YOU too.
Bigs hugs and soppy kisses to you both my friend! xoxo

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