Thursday, 6 September 2007

A common criminal

Yeah, that’s me.

Today, I broke a law…I idled my car for ten minutes. Yep…I’m guilty.

It was like 9000 degrees today and I drove down to my friend, Julie’s house for a swim. On the way home, Threepeat slept and when I got home, since he had only fallen asleep twenty minutes earlier, I left the car running while he napped a little longer in the driveway.

So today, I contributed to global warming. I robbed my children’s children’s children’s grandchildren of ten minutes of life. Sorry.

Oh please…cry me a river people. Name me ONE mother who hasn’t left the car idling in either the summer with the AC on or in the winter with the heat on, just so their child will sleep a wee bit longer! I, for one, can attest to sitting in my car, albeit with the engine turned off, in the fall, sipping on a fresh Timmy’s coffee, while Boy Oneder and Middleman snoozed away, oblivious in the backseat. Moms will do almost ANYTHING for a few more minutes of peace…trust me.

The transfer from a car seat to a bed is one of the most difficult manouevers a parent can master. Even the best of the best transferor messes it up once in a while.

It goes like this:

You look at your peacefully sleeping angel, you watch the breathing…slow, rhythmic. There is no twitching movement, no REM, just pure stillness…you are GOLDEN! You ever so slowly click the release button on the car seat base…the silence impresses you. You gently lift the carseat from its base, being extremely careful not to bump the baby or make any sudden movements. So far, so good. You leave your purse, your cellphone, your coffee…EVERYTHING in the car. You creep like a mouse to the front door, sneaking glances down at the baby…all is good. You slink up the stairs like a thief in the night, praying all the while that the phone doesn’t ring and the floor doesn’t creak. You make it up to the bedroom and silently place the car seat with the still out COLD baby in it on the bed. Your shoes are still on and the front door WIDE open, but you don’t care…you are almost there.

The snaps on the car seat are pulled so gently that they don’t make a sound. Baby is still sleeping. You subtly move the shoulder straps from the baby’s body and with a gentle stir and a sigh, the baby changes position and you FREEZE. You don’t breathe for about 45 seconds and once you realize the baby is still in deep unconsciousness, you continue with your mission. All that is left is the lift and bed placement. You are feeling good. You carefully lift your darling into your arms and in a swift, but gentle movement, you place the baby into the crib/onto the bed. He stirs, but then rests peacefully. The mission has been accomplished. You close the door without so much as a creak and you quietly tiptoe downstairs to close the front door.

That was a stressful five minutes, so you plop yourself on the couch for a well deserved rest. Your bum hits the couch and you take a deep sigh…

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Baby is screaming. You RUSH up those stairs to replace the pacifier that has inevitably left the mouth of your baby, but it is too late. The baby is wide awake, sees you, coos and smiles and holds his arms out to be picked up. It’s over.

And THAT my friends, is why I broke the law today. I don’t think ANY police officer who knows any mothers would DREAM of telling her to turn off the engine. He may lose an eye…or worse. Pin It

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