Tuesday, 10 July 2007

Loss of confidence...

I thought I was “IT” this time. I was a pro at this whole motherhood thing. I have done it twice before and neither Boy Oneder, nor Middleman is any worse for wear. Having another baby was a piece of cake. And it has been…until this weekend.

I had that old familiar feeling…the “what if’s?” Threepeat had a mild case of eczema on his legs. It flared up pretty nastily on Saturday, but was confined to his legs. He spit up quite a bit, had a little diarreah, slept a whole lot and was out of sorts as well. So, that evening, my mind started wandering to the thoughts…”What if it gets worse? What if he gets asthma because he is more susceptible due to allergies in the family? What if his diarreah gets worse? What if all the spitting up is something sinister?”

Looking back on Saturday and Sunday now, I realize I was being ridiculous, but that is how my mind works when I get like that. I can’t control it. I obsess. I panic.

I am now disappointed in myself…I thought I was over the whole hypochondriac thing and I obviously am not. Days like Saturday are the days when I *HATE* being a mother. The worry consumes me. God forbid my children ever get really sick. I would be in the bed next to them…or better yet, in the psych ward!

Sigh…

Pro? Yeah right. I’m learning ALL over again. Pin It

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