Sunday, 29 July 2007

Holy Crap


What a LAUGH I had today. My Mom took Boy Oneder, Middleman and the girls to the circus, so Hubster and I took advantage of the time with just Threepeat and went to Chapters. Threepeat slept for the first half hour or so and then woke up quietly. He started to fuss a little so I picked him up and pushed his empty stroller. I found Hubster and he offered to take Threepeat from me. Thank GOD he did…keep reading…I turned to look at a nearby book and Hubster did the same.

About 1 minute after I handed him off, Hubster looks at me with a disgusted look on his face. “Eww…he crapped and he leaked a little…take him.” Well, I walk over to him (about 15 feet away) and by the time I get there, Threepeat’s breastfed baby poop is literally dripping down Hubster’s arm and onto the floor (thank God it was not on the carpet, but on the tile). If you have ever changed a breastfed baby’s diaper, you will know that it is extremely runny. My eyes pop out of my head as I try to locate kleenex in the stroller. I grab the 20 or so tissues that I had and started mopping Hubster’s arm, just as Threepeat lets another explosion rip through his diaper. The mess is now EVERYWHERE. Hubster’s shirt, hands and arms are just covered. Threepeat is smiling and enjoying every second and I am mopping as fast as I can.

By the grace of God, Hubster’s clean bathing suit was in the basket of the stroller as we were planning on swimming yesterday, but didn’t. I laid the poor, innocent bathing suit in the car seat in the stroller and ever-so-carefully placed the crap-covered child onto the bathing suit. I advised Hubster to go to the men’s washroom and wash up…STAT, while I took Threepeat out to change him. I had three books that I really wanted to buy, so I grabbed the nearest saleswoman and asked her to please hold my books, that my child was covered in crap…yes, I literally said that to her. Her eyes bulged out and she said she would guard my books for me.

I take Threepeat to the van. I lay him gently on the change pad in the middle seat. Now, I have never seen so much runny, yellow crap in all my days. It was EVERYWHERE. I had to manouver him out of the completely drenched romper…THAT was fun. It was up his back, on his sleeves, on the front, EVERYWHERE. I got him naked and then used half of the box of wipes to literally bathe him in the van. It was awful. At least breastmilk poo smells sweet…if he was formula fed, I think I would have puked.

I finally got him all cleaned up and in a new romper and headed back into Chapters. It took me forever to find Hubster, but when I did, there he was, bless his heart, in a shirt covered in poo stains that were wet from being cleaned in the bathroom. He was reading a magazine as if nothing had happened. Now THAT’S a Dad!

Tomorrow is scrub the crap stains out of the carseat day. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Pin It

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