Thursday, 29 March 2007

Inching closer...

OK…so I am REALLY starting to realize how close I am to having this little schmoopy of mine in my arms!

I have had a perfect medical pregnancy…textbook, in fact. But it has been hell to live with. I have suffered through every non-medical ailment there is…heartburn, hemmoroids, back ache, insomnia, nausea, headaches, you name it. Thank God I had no medical complications like high blood pressure or gestational diabetes, etc.

But as bad as the pregnancy has been, I am scared to DEATH of labour! I have absolutely no reason to be afraid…Boy Oneder and Middleman were easy deliveries with no drugs at all. But I know that even easy labours are labours all the same. I am too afraid to take the epidural (too many horror stories about complications and looking at Julie’s bruised back yesterday was enough to seal the deal that I do NO want an epidural!) so I know I will have to suffer through whatever comes.

The other thing is the loss of freedom. Middleman is 7 years old. For about 3 years now, Hubster and I have enjoyed the freedom of having independent children. We can sleep in when we want to, we sleep through the night (well, I did until this pregnancy!) and there are times where the boys go to the park together and we get complete peace. Those days are about to end…again. A new baby in the house, breastfed no less, means that I am tied to Threepeat almost 24/7 for at least the first few months. The sleepless nights, the fevers when he gets sick, the trying to stop him from crying….UGH!

I am at a point now where I am thinking, “What have we DONE?!?!” and “How will we EVER do this??!!”

I want to get it over with and meet this little miracle boy, but I wish there was the option to put him back on bad days! LOL.

I know everything will be fine once he is here, but it’s the getting there that’s scary. Pin It

Wednesday, 28 March 2007

Report Cards...

Once again, my boys made me proud. All A’s and B’s…every subject either remaining the same or getting better (ie: B+ to A).

My kids rock. Pin It

Tuesday, 27 March 2007

Big Day!

Happy Birthday to Kate’s Julie!!! She turned SIX today!

Happy Birth DAY to Julie’s Katelyn!!! Katelyn was born today, via caesarean section at 2:55 pm, weighing 8 lbs 3 ozs! Now, Julie, like Kate, has a million dollar family, with a boy and then a girl!

Look at the similarities…

Kate has a daughter named Julie
Julie has a daughter named Kate(lyn)
Kate has a boy (Samuel)
Julie has a boy (Tyler)
Kate loves Dawn
Julie loves Dawn
Dawn loves Julie and Kate!

What a threesome we are! YAY US! Pin It

Monday, 26 March 2007

Blessings...

Things I am thankful for, in no particular order:

Boy Oneder
Middleman
Threepeat
Hubster
My Mom
My Dad
My Sister
My Extended Family
Kathy and Bruno
Kate
Julie
My Health
Good Neighbours
My Dog
My Home
My Car
Freedom…from guilt, from anger, from people and things that have weighed me down Pin It

Sunday, 25 March 2007

No church today :o(

We don’t really have a “church” yet. We still need $6,000,000.00 to build it. Our church is going to cost $11,000,000.00 to build. You may remember, we have to outdo St. Clare Church. (rolls eyes)

We are currently worshipping in a school gym. A gym that is packed with stinky, coughing people. Today is a warm day and I am SURE that the gym will be a sauna…it’s a sauna on the coldest of days…today would be hell.

I am sitting here in a halter top, melting, with the bedroom window open, so I think it’s safe to say I would FAINT in church.

So we aren’t going today. That makes me sad. Pin It

Thursday, 22 March 2007

Decisions, decisions...

Tonight, the boys had to make a decision…or so we thought. They are both due for renewal at karate. Middleman is due now and Boy Oneder, we thought was due in July, but it actually ended up being September.

So, Sensei gave us the pricing for the next three years (we pay in three year packages). After Hubster and I had a heart attack, we sat the boys down to talk. For three years, for each child, the cost is just over $3,000.00. That amount is to be paid in one year. Yeah….like I said….heart attack.

Boy Oneder and Middleman really want to play hockey, but obviously, with this crazy pay out, we can’t afford both. PLUS, karate is 2 days a week and hockey is 2 days a week. We would never be home. We told them that they had to decide between the two. Keep in mind that Boy Oneder is a blue belt now…two belts away from black. Middleman is an orange belt. I explained to them that when they signed up for karate, they signed up for a committment. Committment to getting their black belts. Karate is more than a sport, it is a lifestyle. Hockey is a sport. Karate can be put on your resume. Unless you are the needle in the haystack that becomes an NHL player, hockey is just for fun.

After half an hour, it was time for Boy Oneder’s class. We went into the Dojo and I asked Sensei if he had a few minutes. I explained the situation to him…that there was NO way we could afford to pay $6,000 in one year, especially considering I was on maternity leave. I also explained that the boys are really excited about playing hockey, but that I was concerned about the time required. We talked for about ten minutes and he told us that he had several other children who played other sports and that it did not affect their karate training. He went into details about how karate actually helped the children with other sports. He then came up with another plan for the payment of the tuition. We are paying him on a monthly basis until the boys get their black belts, one year at a time. So, starting in April, we will be paying $85.00 per month for Middleman’s tuition. Boy Oneder’s renewal is due in September, so, as of September, there will be a new contract, where we will pay $170.00 per month until August, 2008, when we will renew again. This arrangement is definitely doable.

So, the decision was made to keep them in karate, and depending on how much hockey will cost us, they may play houseleague hockey as well. Hubster and I both feel that it is important to teach the boys the importance of committing to something, but we also want them to experience the joy of playing a sport that they both seem to love so much. Getting them involved in sports is an investment in their future.

I think we made the right choice…thanks to Sensei for being so flexible. Pin It

Sunday, 18 March 2007

Non-Stop Movements!

Threepeat has been a busy little man inside my loins. I swear he is building a condo in there. He has barely stopped moving today…literally, I get about a half hour reprieve and then he’s off again for up to an hour at a time! He is very strong too…like strong enough to make me GASP when he stretches! It really does hurt!

Boy Oneder gave me his theory tonight, after watching my belly sway from side to side, that Threepeat is getting himself into position for birth. I hope he’s right…I am 35 weeks, 2 days today and whenever this little man is ready, I am ready. I’d like him to be 37 weeks ideally, but if he’s ready early, so am I!!! Pin It

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

All we need is a baby!

Well…

Everything is ready.

Bags packed – check
Nursery set up – check
Car seat in car – check
Clothes all washed and put away – check
Pacifiers boiled – check
Diapers and Wipes purchased – check

Now all we need is Threepeat!

Nesting is unbelievable! I can’t stop cleaning! Hubster is loving every minute of it!

Come on Threepeat! 38 days and counting… Pin It

Sunday, 11 March 2007

WOW!

Often, especially since Joanne died, I find that when I go to church, the Gospel speaks to me. I mean, really SPEAKS to me. Today was an exceptional example. There have been several people in my life that have hurt me, intentionally or not, but who I have had a really hard time forgiving. Some of this baggage, I have been carrying for YEARS and some for just a few days. Today, Father Greg had us close our eyes while he prayed the following prayer. To say that I was moved is such an understatement! I found myself moved to tears when he gave examples of some of the things we were to forgive people for. Things that were so, so personal to me.

Today, I let go of alot of anger, frustration, hurt and stress. I wouldn’t say I am ready to run up and hug all the people who I have ben so angry at, but I am ready to let it go. Baby steps…baby steps.

Here is the prayer:

LORD JESUS CHRIST, I ask today to forgive everyone in my life. I know that You will give me the strength to forgive and I thank You that You love me more than I love myself and want my happiness more than I desire it for myself.

Father, I forgive You for the times death has come into my family, hard times, financial difficulties, or what I thought were punishments sent by You and people said “It’s God’s will,” and I became bitter and resentful towards You. Purify my heart and mind today.

Lord, I forgive MYSELF for my sins, faults and failings, and for all that is bad in myself or that I think is bad. For any delvings in superstition, using ouija boards, horoscopes, going to seances, using fortune telling or wearing lucky charms, I reject all that superstition and choose You alone as my Lord and Savior. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit.

I further forgive myself for taking Your name in vain, not worshipping You by attending church, for hurting my parents, getting drunk, fornication, adultery, homosexuality. You have forgiven me; today I forgive myself. Also, for abortion, stealing, lying, defrauding, hurting peoples’ reputation, I forgive myself.

I truly forgive my MOTHER. I forgive her for all the times she hurt me, she resented me, she was angry with me and for all the times she punished me. I forgive her for the times she preferred my brothers and sisters to me. I forgive her for the times she told me I was dumb, ugly, stupid, the worst of the children or that I cost the family a lot of money. For the times she told me I was unwanted, an accident, a mistake or not what she expected, I forgive her.

I forgive my FATHER. I forgive him for any non-support, any lack of love, affection, or attention. I forgive him for any lack of time, for not giving me his companionship, for his drinking, arguing and fighting with my mother or the other children. For his severe punishments, for desertion, for being away from home, for divorcing my mother or for any running around, I do forgive him.

Lord, I extend forgiveness to my SISTERS AND BROTHERS. I forgive those who rejected me, lied about me, hated me, resented me, competed for my parents’ love, those who hurt me, who physically harmed me. For those who were too severe on me, punished me or made my life unpleasant in any way, I do forgive them.

Lord, I forgive my SPOUSE for lack of love, affection, consideration, support, attention, communication; for faults, failings, weaknesses and those other acts or words that hurt or disturb me.

Jesus, I forgive my CHILDREN for their lack of respect, obedience, love, attention, support, warmth, understanding; for their bad habits, falling away from the church, any bad actions which disturb me.

My God, I forgive my IN-LAWS, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, son/daughter-in-law and other relatives by marriage, who treat my family with a lack of love. For all their words, thoughts, actions or omissions which injure and cause pain, I forgive them.

Please help me to forgive my RELATIVES, my grandmother and grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins who may have interfered in our family, been possessive of my parents, who may have caused confusion or turned one parent against another.

Jesus, help me to forgive my CO-WORKERS who are disagreeable or make life miserable for me. For those who push their work off on me, gossip about me, won’t cooperate with me, try to take my job, I do forgive them.

My NEIGHBORS need to be forgiven, Lord. For all their noise, letting their property run down, not tying up their dogs, who run through my yard, not taking in their trash barrels, being prejudiced and running down the neighborhood, I do forgive them.

I now forgive all priests, ministers, nuns, my parish, parish organizations, my pastor, bishop, the Pope, and the church for their lack of support, affirmation, bad sermons, pettiness, lack of friendliness, not providing my family with the inspiration we needed, for any hurts they have inflicted on me or my family, even in the distant past, I forgive them today.

Lord, I forgive all those who are of different PERSUASIONS, those of opposite political views who have attacked me, ridiculed me, discriminated against me, made fun of me, economically hurt me.

I forgive those of different religious DENOMINATIONS who have tried to convert me, harassed me, attacked me, argued with me, forced their views on me.

Those who have harmed me ETHNICALLY, have discriminated against me, mocked me, made jokes about my race or nationality, hurt my family physically, emotionally or economically, I do forgive them today.

Lord, I forgive all PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE who have hurt me in any way: doctors, nurses, lawyers, judges, politicians and civil servants. I forgive all service people: policemen, firemen, bus drivers, hospital workers and especially repairmen who have taken advantage of me in their work.

Lord, I forgive my EMPLOYER for not paying me enough money, for not appreciating my work, for being unkind and unreasonable with me, for being angry and unfriendly, for not promoting me, and for not complimenting me on my work.

Lord, I forgive my SCHOOLTEACHERS AND INSTRUCTORS of the past as well as the present. For those who punished me, humiliated me, insulted me, treated me unjustly, made fun of me, called my dumb or stupid, made me stay after school, I truly forgive them.

Lord, I forgive my FRIENDS who have let me down, lost contact with me, do not support me, were not available when I needed help, borrowed money and did not return it, gossiped about me.

Lord Jesus, I especially pray for the grace of forgiveness for that ONE PERSON in life who has HURT ME THE MOST. I ask to forgive anyone who I consider my greatest enemy, the one who is the hardest to forgive, the one I said I will never forgive.

Lord, I beg pardon of all these people for the hurt I have inflicted on them, especially my mother and father, and my marriage partner. I am especially sorry for the three greatest hurts I have inflicted on them.

Thank you, Jesus, that I am being freed of the evil of unforgiveness. Let your Holy Spirit fill me with light and let every dark area of my mind be enlightened. AMEN.

REMEMBER…

Forgiveness is an act of the will, not a feeling. If we pray for a person, we can be assured that we have forgiven that person.

To help accept an individual and open ourselves to a particular person more, visualize him with the Lord Jesus and say to the Lord, “I love him because You love him.”

FORGIVENESS IS A LIFE-LONG OBLIGATION.

Daily we need to forgive those who hurt or injure us.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
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Friday, 9 March 2007

Last day!!

Today is my last day of work before maternity leave begins. It kinda makes it all real. I am 34 weeks pregnant today. In six weeks, (or if history repeats itself, less than that) I will have my baby Threepeat in my arms! Being off work will either make that time fly or drag. Either way, I am glad to have the time to rest before his arrival.

Now…I just have to make sure I DO rest and not go crazy with nesting and stuff! Pin It

Wednesday, 7 March 2007

Heartbrn, hemmoroids and heart break

The heartburn is near constant. Stress and a big ole baby playing big parts. Hemmoroids are to the point where I just can’t stand it. Can’t sit, can’t stand, can’t poop. UGH. Exhaustion is killing me, contractions are getting more and more frequent and more intense. The list is endless. I am officially starting maternity leave next week. I just can’t handle any more.

Oh and the heart break part?…well, sometimes people you think are friends are really wolves in lamb’s clothing. I feel like such a sucker. I let people take advantage of my kindness and almost every time, I get screwed. Will I EVER learn? Once again, I will rely on karma I guess. (sigh) Sorry to all of the others who this mess may have affected…you know who you are. HUGS and please forgive me. Pin It

Monday, 5 March 2007

Overwhelmed.

I am completely overwhelmed with everything. I am still sick as a dog with leftover flu; I was up all night last night, an hour and a half of which was spent contracting at 2-3 minutes apart; I have every ailment of pregnancy you can think of as far as comfort is concerned: heartburn, sciatica, hemmoroids, no appetite, nausea, mood swings, weight loss, insomnia, headaches, etc.; I am not ready for the baby, but at the same time, I can’t wait for him to be here. Work is increasingly difficult and I think I am suffering from pre-partum depression…is there such a thing? Today, I just can’t stop crying. Every little thing sets me off.

I am taking a little break from my home on the web. I am finding that I am getting too caught up in other peoples’ lives, which is adding to my stress. I tend to do that. What hurts “Susie Q” hurts me. I take it with me when I go to bed. I can’t just shed the emotion at the door…I have to carry it with me, thinking and analyzing it to death and I think it is contributing to the general malaise I am feeling.

So, I am going to rein in all my horses and start fresh. I have a doctor’s appointment at 3:20 to see what might be causing the contractions or, at the very least, see what damage, if any, those contractions have caused. I will update when I get home. Pin It

"Just hang in there"

The words from my doctor this afternoon. If I get the contractions again, a warm shower or bath will help. Threepeat’s heartbeat is strong and he is no worse for wear after the horrible night I had last night.

The doctor gave me the 24/7 phone number for the labour and delivery department and said to call them if I was concerned. Basically, this is my third pregnancy, so my uterus gets irritated much quicker than before.

Take it easy. Hang in there. You are in the home stretch. Blah, blah, blah and something about a pregnancy that seemed to last forever.

I’m going to have a nice warm bath now (yes it is 4:41 pm) and put on my nice warm pjs. I will take a Unisom before bed (at 8:00 pm) and tomorrow will be a new day…I hope. Pin It
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