Sunday, 30 December 2007

Getting something off my chest

Disagreeing with someone does not mean that I am right all the time.

Removing negativity from my life does not mean that I do not have flaws…believe me, I have MANY. I try to work on them, but one of my flaws is that I will never be rid of all my flaws.

Choosing to end a relationship (or several relationships) does not mean that I think I am better than others.

2008 is the “Year of Dawn”. My New Years resolution is to put ME first. The only people who will come before me are my children and my husband. I will no longer be bullied, harrassed, hurt, angered or cornered by ANYONE. I am done with being the doormat. For REAL this time. Those who have bullied me know who they are. Some will not. But they WILL. 2008 will be a RUDE awakening for a few and a confirmation for another few. You’ll see…you. will. see.

So, save your public service announcements and take a long, hard look at yourself. Maybe the problem lies WITHIN.

I am happy with my decisions. I have no regrets. I have absolutely NO guilt.

Bring on 2008 baby! BRRRRRING IT! Pin It

Saturday, 29 December 2007

2007 in a nutshell

2007 was lifechanging for me. I became a mother of three. Julian has been the most amazing blessing and as hard as some times are, I can’t imagine life without him.

Here’s the run down of 2007:

Boy Oneder became a blue belt in February

Julie’s sweet baby girl, Katelyn was born on March 27th

Threepeat was born in April

Saira came into my life in May

Boy Oneder turned 11 and Middleman turned 8 in June

I visited the site where Joanne died in July

I turned 38 in August

I became “Madam Chair” in September

We had an unwanted “guest”, the mouse, in October

We booked our Florida vacation in November

So far, December has been uneventful…stay tuned. Pin It

Friday, 28 December 2007

Technologically challenged?

Boy Oneder and Middleman got Toys R Us gift cards for Christmas from my Mom and some cash from my grandparents in England. On Boxing Day, they decided to spend those gift cards on MP3 players.

I don’t get it.

I love my laptop to death; I couldn’t live without the internet and I ADORE my satellite radio, but MP3 players I just.don’t.get.

In case you live under a rock, MP3 players are these little, tiny electronic devices that hold a KABILLION songs. But why? Isn’t that why we have CDs? At the very least, that’s why we have satellite radio…all the newest songs, with no commercials. By the time you upload all the most popular songs onto your little MP3 player, there are new songs! These days, songs are only on the charts for a week or two and then they are replaced by the new ones. You then have to download the new songs and then upload them onto your little MP3. I simply don’t get it.

So, I guess although I *thought* I was technologically advanced, I am actually technologically CHALLENGED.

Sigh.

I feel old. Pin It

Thursday, 27 December 2007

Dear Anonymous

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog. I appreciate your opinion. I have one request though…in future, could you leave your name so I know who you are?

We all have the right to our opinions, but it kinda gets discounted a little bit when you won’t leave your name. I like to know who is talking to me…know what I mean?

I hope you had a Merry Holiday Christmas. ;o) Pin It

And just like *that*, it's over

Christmas has come and gone once again. All the preparation, anticipation and work made Christmas extra special. I think the boys were happy with their gifts, Hubster liked his gifts and I liked mine.

Unfortunately, we didn’t make it to Christmas Eve midnight mass this year…Threepeat just couldn’t stay up long enough and because he already has a cold, I was a bit concerned about taking him to a church full of potentially sick parishoners. We said a nice prayer at dinner time instead and spent time with each other.

We had fish, fish and more fish and then opened a couple of gifts. The boys got some matching fleece pajamas and looked so cute all dressed the same. We got some nice photos, which I will post later.

Christmas morning began at 7:00…well, that’s when we got out of bed…Boy Oneder and Middleman were awake at about 6:15, but knew better than to wake us that early!! ;o) We came downstairs to a family room full of presents from Santa. The boys tore through all of them in about ten minutes. Then, we opened gifts from each other. A cup of Tim Hortons coffee and I was good for the day. We had Mark, the girls, Franca, Mike and the boys, my Mom and Hubster’s Mom here for a nice ItalEnglish Christmas dinner…lasagne and turkey! LOL! We ate like pigs and then just chatted all evening.

Yesterday, Kathy and Bruno came over for dinner…veal on a bun, salad and oriental appetizers. Yummy.

And so, all the hard work for the past few months paid off in the 15 minutes that Christmas lasted! LOL!

I hope you all enjoyed your time with your families too! Pin It

Monday, 24 December 2007

Merry Christmas!

Tonight, the festivities begin. Fish. That’s what we eat tonight. Fish, fish and MORE fish. Then, we will eat the leftover fish along with our turkey tomorrow, plus some new fish that Nanna will cook. We will then eat leftover fish for the next three days, together with our leftover turkey. Good times.

Tomorrow is the BESTEST day of the year! We get together with family (and this year will be the first year that we will ALL be together for Christmas dinner. Fourteen of us…Mark, the girls, my Mom, Hubster’s Mom, Joe’s sister and her family and us. YIPPEE!! We thank God for all he has given us, we eat, we reminisce, we eat, we open gifts, we eat and then we eat some more.

I think I am worse than the kids when it comes to the excitement of it all. I can’t WAIT to see their faces when they open all of the ROCKING gifts I painstakingly bought and wrapped for them. I don’t even think they will notice that the first few gifts I wrapped are all Martha Stewart-like with perfectly square corners and gorgeous homemade ribbons, and then the gifts slowly deterioriate to Congo the Ape-like with holes in the wrapping paper and no bows to speak of. The last few Santa gifts don’t even have tags…just an “F” for Boy Oneder and an “N” for Middleman, written ever so tiny on the back side of the tape. Sigh. Who cares…they rip those suckers open faster than I can say, “Merry Christmas!” anyway.

Merry Christmas to all my readers. To my dear old friends, to my new friends, to my aquaintances and to those who “read me” and have never come forward. May your Christmas be full of love, happiness, warmth and peace. Pin It

Sunday, 23 December 2007

The Spirit of Christmas

I consider myself a Christian. I believe in Christ. I believe that he was born of the Virgin Mary. I believe that He is our Saviour. In my mind, this makes me a Christian. I am no Bible Thumper…trust me on that one…but I feel strongly about the true meaning of Christmas.

Some days, I am not a good Christian, some days I ROCK as a Christian. Some days, my faith is shaken a wee bit, sometimes alot. Some days, I FEEL His presence…some days, not so much.

My point?

As a Christian, I celebrate the birth of our Saviour at Christmas time. Although Christmas Day is not His TRUE birthday, it is the day set aside to celebrate His birth. That said, it only stands to reason, that if you are not a Christian, then you don’t celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, right? In my mind, this means that you don’t have a Christmas tree, you don’t exchange gifts and you certainly don’t pray or go to a Christian church.

Apparently, I am quite mistaken. I know personally of some people who proudly state that they are “agnostic” or “atheist”, yet a lovely, bright, colourful Christmas tree stands tall in their home. The presents are piled up high and the food is aplenty. Oh, but they aren’t celebrating “Christmas”…they are celebrating the “holidays”. Umm…excuse me…Hannukah is over and, for the record, is celebrated with a Menorah, NOT a tree and last I checked, Kwanzaa was celebrated with African decor.

Don’t get me wrong…everyone is entitled to believe what they want, celebrate what they want and decorate however they want…that is not my beef. My issue is with those who say they are not Christians, yet celebrate Christmas. I am not allowed to wish anyone a Merry Christmas, for fear of offending someone, but non-Christians can celebrate my holiday whether they believe in Jesus or not.

The “reason for the season” is gone for alot of people. Christmas has become a commercial “shop-fest” of one-uppers. Billy is getting a Playstation 2 for Christmas, so Bobby’s parents buy him a Playstation 3. Suzie’s mom stood in line for THREE hours to get her the latest “Bratz” doll at a bargain price of just $79.99. But, Billy, Bobby and Suzie don’t know the true meaning of Christmas…all they know are the gifts and the Christmas tree. Sad, but oh so true.

Keep Christ in Christmas.

Happy Birthday Jesus! Pin It

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Doing the right thing

It has recently occurred to me that “doing the right thing” has become more and more difficult in this messed up world of ours.

I truly do try to do what’s right most of the time, but the roadblocks are getting closer and closer together and much more difficult to get past.

We have become a selfish, mean-spirited, angry society and it sickens me to see how people treat one another.

To do the right thing has taken a backseat to “what’s in it for me?” attitudes.

I look back at my childhood and think about how different things are today…back when I was a child, if someone dinged your car, they left you a note apologizing and giving their phone number for insurance purposes; people held the door open for one another and actually said “thank-you” when the door was held for them; children were respectful to adults; men stood up to let a pregnant lady sit down; the “village” worked together to raise the children…I was just as afraid of Mr. Agnew as I was of my own father, knowing that if I was bad, he would tell my parents; there was better communication…people talked to one another instead of emailing or instant messaging one another…if someone had an issue with someone else, they talked about it! What a wonderful world that was.

Now, our world is messed up. BIG TIME. I see things daily that hurt my heart. I wonder where the heck we went wrong. What did the human race do to get ourselves into such a mess? Will we come full circle or will we continue to spiral into an antisocial, self-centered, NASTY world?

I pray for the full-circle. I hope we are at the worst and will start getting better again. I hope we can start living as Jesus asked us to…”treat others as yourself”…”love thy neighbour”. That’s the world I want my children to live in. Pin It

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

So much to do, so little time!

My to do list:

- oil change on my car
- laundry
- get Julian’s passport photo taken
- laundry
- file Julian’s passport application
- laundry
- wrap all 1,000,000 Christmas gifts
- laundry
- get a massage (I am DYING)
- laundry
- change the sheets on my bed
- laundry
- clean the bathrooms
- laundry
- make an appointment for my hair (my roots are about an inch long)
- laundry
- meet with the school principal to discuss January’s agenda
- did I mention laundry?

I have to do MOST of this list today too. Yeah…and here I am online. I’m such a dumbass. Pin It

Sunday, 16 December 2007

What a difference one week can make!

The following are the milestones that Threepeat has mastered this past week…yes, SEVEN days:

- two teeth

- eats veggies!!

- creeping/crawling and push ups

- sleeping much better (only up once or twice, as compared to 5 or 6 times last week)

- claps on command

- waves “bye-bye”

My baby boy will be 8 months old on Tuesday. He is growing up so very quickly…it’s so sad really. He just refuses to be a baby. He wants to grow up and I don’t want him to just yet. This is the absolute BEST time to be a Mommy…I wish I could make it last longer.

I go back to work on January 7th. I am a basket case. Hubster and I discussed me going back early waaaaaay back when I was early on in my pregnancy and it seemed like such a good idea at the time…I work from home anyway, so whenever I want a kiss or hug, I can just go downstairs and get my “fix”, right? Well, now that we are only three weeks away, I am a complete mess. I want to stay home with my baby and focus 100% on him and his brothers. (

I’m still holding on to my 1 in 5,000,000 chance of winng the lottery…sigh. Pin It

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Ding Dong my shopping's DONE!

I am pleased to announce that my Christmas shopping is DONE. Yep…D.O.N.E. WOOT!

I went out this afternoon with Threepeat and finished it off. I have just two more purchases from the hockey…well, SANTA Joe is taking care of them ;o) So, Santa Hubster has to come with me to help me size the stuff.

The stocking stuffers are bought and I actually WRAPPED a good deal of it today. This is WAAAAAY early for me.

OK, YES, I AM on maternity leave. Shut up. The point is that I got my shopping done before the 24th…when all the MEN go out and start their shopping. Yay me!

P.S. Our trip to Florida is completely booked, planned and paid for. The flight, the house and the van….booked and ready for us. Yippee!!!

I am SO on the ball today. Pin It

Forgive us our trespasses...

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

That’s part of the Lord’s Prayer, for those who don’t know. Giving forgiveness is as important as asking for forgiveness.

Someone extended an olive branch to me this past weekend.

I accept. Check your friends requests at Facebook. Pin It

Monday, 10 December 2007

Strep throat and teething and headaches OH MY!

Middleman has strep throat.

Threepeat cut his first tooth today.

Boy Oneder has had two migraines in less than a week.

I have just received a special reminder that I am still fertile. (you know what I am saying ladies)

Yeah…life is GRAND these days.

Sorry I haven’t blogged….least of my concerns, blah, blah, blah.

Sigh…I’m going to bed. Pin It

Sunday, 9 December 2007

The battle

I found a poem I wrote for my Dad the month before he died and thought I would share it here…

It seems like yesterday that I wrote it.

You fought a valiant battle
We thought that you had won
But the cancer has returned
Your war is almost done.

The doctors tried their best you see
To make you well again
But cancer is an evil thing
That causes fear and pain.

Your journey’s coming to an end
Your life on earth, near through
But please, don’t ever forget Dad
How much we all love you.

Your life is being taken
We all know you’re not old
Your days on earth are numbered
We accept the truth we’re told.

I hope your trip to Heaven
Is as quick as it can be
Although I’ll miss you dearly,
I will know that you are free.

I pray that Heaven does exist
And that you’ll always be
Forever in Eternity
Waiting there for me.

Keep a place for me up there
With Jesus as your friend
So that when we meet again dear Dad
The bond we share won’t end.

You are my Dad, my friend, my rock
I so look up to you
What will I do without you Dad
You are my world, it’s true.

The memories come flooding back
How you’ve been there for me
You’ve made me everything I am
And what I’m yet to be.

The tears are falling down like rain
My heart is torn in two
Oh Daddy, please watch over me
In everything I do.

I will always remember you
And the life you gave to me
Your courage and your love for us
Make it effortless to see.

Peace and love be with you
Until your journey’s through
Please remember Daddy
How much I do love you.

~ Dawn, April 4th, 2004 Pin It

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Lonely and abandoned

They are there for you when you need them. They make you feel better when you are blue. They allow you to vent, cry and bitch with no complaints. When you leave them high and dry, they are always there if and when you return.

What am I talking about?

Your blog.

So many blogs are like brand new toys at Christmas…people write in them daily, even more than once daily, for a little while and then…something better comes up and the poor innocent blog is left abandoned.

Take Gail for example. I have ridden her over and over about neglecting her blog, but this time, it’s been almost two months. I think her blog is officially an orphan. Lori had great intentions and her posts were fantastic, but I guess life and love got in the way and now her blog is a ghost town. I was REALLY excited about Wendy starting a new blog, but her’s only has eight posts and already, it’s lonely and neglected.

*I* love my blog. *I* take care of my blog. *I*, my friends, am a responsible blog owner. There are so many other great bloggers out there, my friends mentioned above included, but if you don’t write, I can’t read. That makes me sad.

Shame on you blog abandoners. Shame, shame, shame!

OK….I just realized that maybe *I* am the only one without a life. Shame on me. Pin It

Sunday, 2 December 2007

My precious girls

I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with my beautiful nieces, C, R and D. They are such angels.

Mom bought me and all the kids tickets to a traditional British pantomime on Saturday afternoon in Hillsburgh, up near Mark’s house. The kids had a lot of fun, but truth be told, I think Grandma enjoyed it most! LOL! The girls ended up coming back to my house for an overnight treat. They were THRILLED!

We went back to their house to pick up their overnight bag and then we dropped off Grandma. We got home at about 6:30 on Saturday night. We ordered pizza for dinner and Hubster had rented us a movie, “Mr. Bean’s Holiday” (crap by the way) and we all nestled in and watched together. At 11:00, all of the kids were finally asleep…Threepeat in his crib, C in Threepeat’s future room, R and middleman in the queen bed, Boy Oneder and D on big thick comforters on the floor. I fell into bed at 11:10.

Bright and early this morning, 6:40 to be exact, Threepeat was wide-eyed and bushy tailed. His “singing” woke Boy Oneder, R and D and we all went downstairs. Not long after, D came down and then finally, C at about 8:30. We had pancakes and while I cleaned up the dishes and the family room, the kids all put the Sunday newspapers together. They played in the snow for a while, making a great fort in the front! Threepeat went for a nap at 9:30. While Hubster shovelled the snow, the kids came in for a nice hot chocolate and then, while Threepeat slept, Hubster took all the other kids in the van to deliver the papers. I took the opportunity to have a quick shower.

We then had lunch (chicken noodle soup and Kraft Dinner) and played some fun word games. While we ate, Threepeat had a nice hour long nap. When he woke up at 1:30ish, we took them all (minus Threepeat, who stayed with Hubster’s Mom) sledding. Poor C, who broke her arm a couple of months ago, couldn’t go down the hill in case she fell and rebroke it, so Hubster and I snuck her a hot chocolate and chocolate donut that she gladly accepted in lieu of sledding!

After three rides down the hill, R AND D needed to pee. So, at 2:00, we all trekked back up the hills to the van and headed for home. At 3:30, the kids all had grilled cheese sandwiches, except Boy Oneder, who had a bowl of the chilli that I had in the slow cooker. R, D and I coloured while the other kids played Playstation and R made me the most beautiful picture. It said, “To Aunty Dawn. I love U! From R XX” I put it on my fridge. At 4:15 we all packed in two cars to head over to Middleman's hockey game and at 5:00, Mark picked up my girlies from the arena.

It was a whirlwind weekend of tending to six children, NON-STOP, but I enjoyed every moment of it. Those girls are more and more like Joanne every single day. C looks like Mark, but has ALL of Joanne’s mannerisms, even her LAUGH. R is Joanne’s clone, both in looks AND in personality and D looks JUST like Joanne when she was little. D is SO full of love and kisses. She is truly a blessing. R has come around SO much since Joanne died. Her eyes are light again. She smiles now. ) C is such a little lady. She is growing like a weed and is getting so mature.

God has blessed me abundantly with both my sons and my nieces. I love each and every one of them to pieces and I pray that we will all remain close for as long as I live. Pin It

Thursday, 29 November 2007

Almost there

Our Florida flights are booked!!! We leave February 12th and return February 26th.

Mark and the girls are coming and my Mom is too! It will be nice to be together at the “most magical place on earth”! I can even do princessy things with my nieces! YIPPEE!!!

Now, I have to book TWO houses…a big one for the first week, because Mom and Mark and the girls are only staying for one week and a smaller one for Hubster, the boys and I for the second week.

I’m SO excited. Pin It

Another great day with friends

Julie, Wendy and I went to the Vaughan Baby Show yesterday. It SUCKED. It was nothing more than local businesses showing off their stuff at various tables throughout the new Toys R Us store at Vaughan Mills. There were free Santa photos with a guy that looked NOTHING like Santa. The line up was all around the store, and after waiting for half an hour, we decided to bail. The “gift bags” were full of pretty much useless coupons and a free diaper from Huggies…size one. ‘Ev.

BUT

The company ROCKED. Wendy brought Lauren and Rachel and Julie brought Katelyn and Tyler. We also met up with a new friend, Nordene, and her sweet little 12 week old Jaiden. We had a coffee, shopped a little and just kinda hung out. I, of course, gushed over Ty-Guy…man I love that kid…he is just adorable. I haven’t seen him in FOREVER and he gave me the BEST hug ever when we left.

Good friends, good times. I’m looking forward to these little people growing up together. How fun. Pin It

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Threepeat and I are going to University

We are in a study.

The Infancy Centre at York University’s Psychology Department contacted me about a month ago, asking if I would be interested in putting Threepeat in a study of 6 month old babies. The aim of the study was to see if he was a social being yet. They also want to see whether he has preferences when it comes to playthings and people.

We had our first session last month. First, I played with him alone for 5 minutes, then the students played with him. Then, they attempted to see whether he was interested in a teddy bear that didn’t move or one that did move. The whole session was about 20 minutes.

Today, we are attending with two other boys that are approximately the same age as Threepeat. This time, they want to see if he will interact with the other boys (THAT I can guarantee) and whether he will choose one over the other.

The whole thing is so interesting. We assume that because he can’t talk, he can’t think. Nothing could be further from the truth. I can’t wait to see how he acts (and reacts) today.

Stay tuned. Pin It

Monday, 26 November 2007

Wow

Since Wednesday, August 9th, 2006, I’ve been smoke free for:

1 year, 109 days, 9 hours, 46 minutes, 49 seconds.

I have saved $1,897.50 by not smoking 4,744 cigarettes.

By not smoking, I have added

40 days, 8 hours, 48 minutes, 25 seconds to my life expectancy.

YAY me! Pin It

Sunday, 25 November 2007

Threepeat

My little schmoopy boy is still growing like a weed. He weighs 22.5 lbs and is wearing 12-18 month old clothes. He is *almost* getting into a crawl position from sitting and he sits forever without falling over.

His favourite toy is Hubster’s poker chips…I hope that’s not a sign of the future!! He adores Boy Oneder and Middleman and they adore him right back.

He still HATES veggies, LOVES cereal and tolerates fruits. He nurses through the night (at least twice), but I have to pump during the day because he is too busy to relax long enough to nurse.

He is the most amazing blessing for our family and I can’t imagine life without him! Pin It

I hate her I hate her I hate her...

But LISTEN to this song:



And she's still ugly. Pin It

Saturday, 24 November 2007

Middleman

I’m sure I’ve written this exact post for Boy Oneder, but this time, it’s about my middle child. Middleman tested for his second stripe on his red belt at karate last night. He failed. Miserably. He just can’t seem to get this kata right no matter how much he practices. It was the same for Frankie.

My heart broke for him last night. He worked with Sempai Lori for 45 minnutes before testing and still didn’t get it. He was so, so disappointed. This week, we are going to karate EVERY night so that he can test and catch up to Frankie for the belt ceremony on December 14th. He needs to get this stripe and one more before December 14th. Can he do it? Time will tell. Pin It

Thursday, 22 November 2007

Boy Oneder

I thought I’d post a little update on my biggest boy, Boy Oneder. He is 11 and a half…don’t forget the half, whatever you do.

I took him to the doctor yesterday for his first check up since he was about two years old. He’s been to the doctor ALOT since he was two, but never for a “well-kid” check up, so we booked him a physical for last night.

He weighs 97 lbs…56th percentile and he is 146 cm tall…70th percentile. Perfect. He has had lots of aches and pains lately and the doctor explained that sometimes, bones grow faster than muscles by just a little bit and therefore, kids get what Grandmas call “growing pains”. His boosters are all up to date and he reluctantly took his flu shot. Little bugger told the doctor to put it in his right arm…so that if it hurt too badly today, his teacher wouldn’t make him write too much. LMAO!

We had nice conversations both on the way to and from the office as well as during the half hour wait at the doctor’s. He is a lovely boy, so mature and so fun to chat with now. We can talk about stuff like adults now and I can say certain things that I couldn’t say before. He understands slang and sarcasm and even has a bit of a comedian in him….hmmm…wonder where he got THAT from.

He is on the boys’ volleyball team and he is doing fairly well in school…we will know for sure next week when report cards come home. He is such a good big brother, helping with Threepeat every chance he gets and playing mini sticks with Middleman every afternoon, even though I know he’d rather be watching TV.

God blessed me abundantly with that boy. THAT’s for certain Pin It

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

Moms in the City Bruncheon

Wendy and I had a great time today! We went to Adventure Valley in Markham for the “Moms in the City” Bruncheon. We got to meet the famous Sleep Doula and we got lots of tips from one of the editors of Today’s Parent magazine. The event was well planned and extremely well-organized. Well worth our time and money.

Wendy’s little Lauren is growing like a weed and is just such a sweetie. She and Threepeat were interacting so much today, playing patty-cake and giggling together…no worries Julie, Threepeat is still smitten with Katelyn! ;o)

We met a wonderful lady named Nordene and her little heartbreaker, 11 week old Jayden. We have exchanged email addresses and plan to get together again soon.

Educational AND fun. That’s my kind of day! Pin It

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

Mommy time...kinda.

Tomorrow, Wendy and I are attending a Moms in the City Bruncheon.

The bruncheon offers seminars on different aspects of motherhood. There were 6 seminars to choose from and we chose the one on sleep (go figure) and organization. We get a lunch and there is a childcare right there at the event, so Wendy and I will have some mommy time to learn about all things mommy! LOL!

I’m looking forward to learning and having fun!! Pin It

Karate updates

The boys are still going strong on their karate “career”. They had classes tonight and after looking at their cards, it looks like Boy Oneder is one class away from his first degree BROWN belt!!! That’s one belt (three degrees) from a BLACK belt!!! I am still in shock. He has been a blue belt for a long time and finally, all his hard work is going to pay off! The last class he needs is Kata and he will do that next week. He will get his brown belt in December! What a MERRY CHRISTMAS it will be for him!

Middleman is going strong on his red belt. He is ready to test for his second (of three) stripe and he will do that this Friday night. At this rate, he will be a green belt for the new year!

My boys are doing SO well. I am extremely proud of their progress over the years. YAY Boy Oneder and Middleman!!! Pin It

Monday, 19 November 2007

Do you miss your sister?

Five words. One question. One heavy, emotional question.

Hubster asked me that tonight when we dropped my Mom off at home. Avril Lavigne’s “I Miss You” was playing on the radio and out of nowhere, Hubster asked, “Do you miss your sister?” My response was to nod and say, “Yeah…this song reminds me of her.” He nodded and said, “Really?” I nodded and we drove off towards home.

I felt a little saddened by his question, so once Avril was done singing, I changed the radio station to Sirius 103, Blue Collar Comedy. We laughed at some of the stupid, yet funny jokes and that was that.

But, that was over an hour ago and I am still thinking about that question. I DO miss her. I have been thinking about her alot this past few days. No particular reason, but she has been on my mind. I talk to her every night when I say my prayers. I hope she hears me. I wonder if she misses me. Can dead people miss alive people?

I hope she sees me. I hope she sees her girls and my boys growing up. I hope she is happy.

I miss her most when it comes to the boys’ hockey. I know she’d be cheering them on with me if she were still here. I miss her when I see Franca holding Threepeat. I know Joanne would love on Julian SO much. In my mind’s eye, I can see her squishing him and playing with him the way she played with Boy Oneder and Middleman. Those thoughts are the ones that make me cry. When I think of what could have been…

But there’s no sense getting all upset about it, right? Nothing will bring her back. I will just hold onto the hope that she DOES see us, that she IS here with us and that she KNOWS how much we miss her.

The calendar tells me she’s been gone nearly two years. TWO YEARS??? It seems like yesterday, she was singing some 80′s song to me on her cell phone as she drove home from work. She drove me nuts with that…every time she’d hear a song from our highschool days, she’d call and karaoke for me. Crazy girl. What I wouldn’t give to hear her blast out “Oh Mickey you’re so fine!” just one more time.

So yes…I miss my sister. I miss her very, very, VERY much. Pin It

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Seven months today

My little man entered the world. Where have those months GONE?

Happy 7th Monthday little Threepeat. I love you. Pin It

Friday, 16 November 2007

Itchy, itcy, scratchy, scratchy

I am covered in hives.

UGH.

I woke up on Wednesday night (well, Thursday morning) at 12:15 feeling all itchy. I looked in the mirror and my back and ribs were covered in welts. I went to the 24 hour pharmacy and got some Benadryl, which took some of the itch away, but not all.

After noon yesterday, they seemed to subside, but then I woke up at 7:30 this morning, worse than the day before! I popped some more Benadryl and have an appointment with the doctor at 1:00 this afternoon.

Hives are SOOO itchy. It’s like being covered in mosquito bites, but they are hot.

UGH. Pin It

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Veggie Tales

Threepeat hates vegetables. Plain and simple. Somehow, yesterday, Julie was able to get two cubes of squash/apple into him, but that is as far as it goes.

I tried squash and sweet potatoes today. No go. I then opened a jar of peas and carrots. No go. He also cannot stand pastina. He will tolerate fruits, but doesn’t lap them up.

Now…cereal…man oh MAN can he eat cereal. He is gonna be a carb-o-holic like his Dad.

Thank goodness for “Deceptively Delicious” by Jessica Seinfeld. I ordered it from amazon last night. I will trick him into eating his veggies damn it! Pin It

Sunday, 11 November 2007

I wish time would slow down

My baby is growing too quickly.

He is so heavy that he hurts my shoulder, back and arm. He is on solids. He is too busy to nurse most of the time. He is as smart as a whip, dancing, clapping and jumping on demand.

Why oh why can’t they stay little for a while longer? Why can’t they remain dependent on their Mommies for longer? Why can’t they stay content in our arms for longer?

Sigh.

I think it’s time for Hubster to get “fixed”. I feel the urge for baby number 4. Pin It

Saturday, 10 November 2007

Back massager(less)

I treated myself today.

Hubster and I took the boys to Canadian Tire after their hockey practices to get new mouthguards. While we were there, Hubster got some winterizing stuff for his girlfriend motorcycle. Being that I am not interested in the umpteen different brands of motor oil available for bikes and cars, Threepeat and I walked around a little bit.

I came across an entire aisle of masaging seats for the car. One of them jumped off the shelf and into my cart, so I had to take it home. It has heat, cool, 6 massagers, an AC cord and a car adapter. The regular price was $99.99 and, being my LUCKY day, it was on sale for $49.99! That is a bargooooon! I was SO excited to get it into the van and try it out.

Boy Oneder helped me set it all up…he snapped the buckles around my seat, plugged me in and told me to go ahead and turn her on. I flipped the switch. Nothing. I flipped the other three switches. Nothing. I flipped them all again. Nothing. I rechecked the plug. Switched again. Nothing. I was fuming.

But, I still held out hope. Maybe it was just the car adapter. The AC cord will work at home. I was already feeling the massage that I so desperately need in order to take away some of the pain that Liza, my new massage therapist, gave me.

We got home and I plugged her in. I flipped those switches ten times. NOTHING. At this point, I was SO angry. You build up to something in your mind, and then to be let down like that is just…just….HORRIBLE.

I WAS going to go back to Canadian Tire right away, but I don’t want to rip the head off of some innocent teenager. Therefore, I will wait until I am less angry and return it then.

GRRRR!!!!!!! Pin It

Friday, 9 November 2007

Prayers for a friend

I would like to ask those of you who pray to keep a friend and her baby in your thoughts today. Jael, a little boy on my April Babies message board is very, very sick. The doctors think he has dengue…hemorrhaging and very high fever.

This little boy is Threepeat’s age and his Mom posted a photo of him this morning in his hospital crib. My heart is breaking for him, but especially for his mommy, who must be beside herself with worry.

May God make him better…fast. Pin It

Disney or bust!

Well, it looks like our longtime dream of going to Walt Disney World in Florida are finally coming to fruition!!!

I have been doing ALOT of legwork today, getting prices on flights, houses, vans and park passes and it looks like it’s doable! WOOHOO!!!

My Mom and Mark and the girls are probably going to join us, so we have chosen a nice big house in a beautiful subdivision in Orlando, which is “minutes from Disney”. It has a heated pool, a games room and kid-themed bedrooms. The kids are gonna LOVE it!!!

Once Mark and Mom confirm that they are good to go, I will be booking…hopefully Monday or Tuesday of next week. We will be leaving February 14th and returning February 24th.

SOOOO pumped. Can you tell??? LOL! Pin It

Thursday, 8 November 2007

Welcome back to the world of massage!

Today was the first time I have had a massage in about 6 months. I had to try a new place because Christine, my previous massage therapist, moved to Midland. I miss her dearly. I have been looking around for a new therapist, but no one jumped out at me. Christine was SO good, that it was hard to replace her.

Tonight, I met my new Godsend. Her name is Liza and she is wonderful. I had no idea how bad my shoulders were until I was on the table. She, like Christine was when we first met, shocked at how many knots I have had in my back muscles.

But tonight, I am a new woman, with no knots! As I was leaving, Liza said, “Welcome back to the world of massage!” My response was, “Thank you…and what a wonderful world it is!!” Pin It

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Dawn 3, Mastitis 0

I will NOT let mastitis cut my breastfeeding time with Threepeat short. I am currently dealing with mastitis for the third time in my life…the second time with Threepeat.

It sucks.

BIG time.

But, I will not let it win.

I am going to nurse him until he is 12 months if it kills me.

So there. Pin It

ZAP!

I have ALOT of online friends. In fact, I have many more online friends than real life friends.

Some of my online friends live close by and others live across the world in places like Australia, England and even Japan. The amazing part of my online friendships is that they have become such a HUGE part of my life. There are women like Tracy, who came from her home in Montreal to be with me when my Dad died and women like Pam, who we arranged to meet in Las Vegas one year. These are people who I met online and who have meant so much to me over the years.

The sad part about online friends is that in the blink of an eye, ZAP! and you are out of their lives. One block, one deletion, one ban and that’s it…friendship over. In real life, it’s not as easy to just delete someone from your life, but online, it’s quick, relatively painless and I guess, for the most part, guilt free. You aren’t deleting a PERSON afterall, you are deleting a member or a username. The person lives, but the user dies.

Most of my online friendships have lasted over ten years. I am still meeting new people in my internet travels, and I love reading other peoples’ views on life. It’s like people watching, but from a safe distance. Some of these people will be lifelong friends and others will be acquaintances. Still others will move on much more quickly. And that’s OK. I have some online friends who I know will ALWAYS be here on my screen for me…no matter what.

So to all of my longtime online friends…I love you dearly. Some of you have been more like sisters to me than online names. I am so very thankful for our friendships. I know I’ve told you umpteen times, but I will continue to gush about you. You all ROCK! Pin It

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

I am officially an embarrassment

I knew the day would come…I just wish it wasn’t so soon.

I went to the boys’ school today to help with the Halloween Dance-a-Thon raffles. Being Chair of the Council, I was there to represent the other Council members.

Middleman's class was in the first assembly and when he saw me, he was thrilled….waving madly and wearing a smile from ear to ear, he was proud of his Mom. He kept pointing me out to his classmates…they looked up and smiled…almost jealous that THEIR Mom wasn’t there. I remember feeling that way when my Mom was working and the other stay-at-home-moms were at the school helping out.

Boy Oneder's class was in the third assembly. I didn’t see him come into the gym, so I scanned all the kids, trying to locate him so I could give him a subtle wave…knowing full well that in grade 6, your Mom isn’t as cool as she was when you were in grade 3.

I spotted him and waited for eye contact, when I very discreetly lifted my hand to my chest and gave an ever-so-slight movement resembling a wave. I know he saw me. He darted his eyes away and averted all other opportunities for eye contact. His friends were all waving and saying hi, but Boy Oneder completely dissed me.

My heart physically hurt. I didn’t think it would, because I knew the day would come, but it hurts when your kid won’t even acknowledge you. If I was dressed like a nerd or if I yelled or did something embarrassing, I can understand it, but I just waved! If you would even CALL it a wave. I guess in my heart of hearts, I do “get it”. He’s 11. He’s just now starting to see girls as girls and not boys with long hair and pink clothing. So, it only makes sense that at this time in his life, his mother is not the source of pride that she once was. The only problem is that he is still my pride and joy and always will be, so I have to get my brain, to advise my heart, that this is normal behaviour. Obviously, my heart didn’t get the memo.

Gone are the days of public kisses and hugs. Gone are the days of missing me when I am not around. Gone are the days of having a “little boy”. He’s now a preteen. God…a PRETEEN. When the hell did THAT happen?

So, I am now an embarrassment to my son. Another threshold I hoped I’d never cross.

Why must they grow up? Pin It

Monday, 5 November 2007

Celine Dion

I can’t STAND Celine Dion.

Her accent is enough to drive me to pull each and every one of my fingernails off, one by one. I think she is absolutely hideous in the looks department and she is so full of herself it’s sickening. I have never been able to stand her music…so nasal and so freakin’ BORING.

But…

When I had my 3D ultrasound with Threepeat, the technician put on her CD, “Miracle” while she recorded my little schmoopy swimming around in my womb. One week after the ultrasound, I went out and bought the CD.

Every day, when Threepeat goes down for his naps, I play the CD. I cry through most of the songs and if I am not actually crying tears, I am choked up. I know all the words to all of the songs and at night, when I am rocking him to sleep, I sing them to him. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful and SO perfect for a mother to sing to her baby.

I still think she’s ugly though. Pin It

Bah HUMBUG!

Bah Hum Bug!

Christmas is still 7.5 weeks away. Why on EARTH would our local Tim Horton’s have their Christmas tree up already?! For the love of Pete people…I love Christmas as much as the next guy, but this tree was up on November 1st…less than 12 hours after Halloween!!! Come ON!

I think I need a little time to enjoy what’s left of fall my maternity leave before I start thinking about Christmas. Even the coffee cups from Tim’s are all wintery and stuff.

Gimme a break. Now I have to start shopping because Christmas is literally “just around the corner” (at my local Tim Hortons)…I’m rolling my eyes too…sorry ’bout that…I couldn’t resist. Pin It

Sunday, 4 November 2007

Hockey Moms

There comes a time in most Canadian mothers’ lives when they become a Hockey Mom.

The pre-requisites are quite simple, but let me begin with some of the things you DON’T need in order to be a Hockey Mom…

1. You don’t have to have sons to be a Hockey Mom because girls can play too;
2. You don’t have to have children of a specific age to be a Hockey Mom…some start at 3 years old, some don’t start until they are 12 or even older;
3. You don’t have to be from a hockey family…there are LOTS of first generation players in our league.

Here are the things you need in order to be a Canadian Hockey Mom:

1. You must be breathing;
2. You must have a pulse;
3. You must be able to tie your kid’s skates in the absence of Dad. Blisters and callouses are minor sacrifices for tight skate laces;
4. You must bring the best snacks ever sold when it is your turn. Nothing says “Cool” like a Hockey Mom who brings sugar and spice to the dressing room;
5. You must be willing to scream and cheer at the top of your lungs when your child has the puck. Embarrassment does not EXIST in the hockey arena if you are a TRUE Hockey Mom;
6. You must be so damned proud of your kids that you show up to EVERY game…this includes when you are sick, exhausted or have a “prior committment”. NOTHING comes before your kid’s hockey game;
7. You must be there to lick the psychological wounds of your child when they lose the game; and
8. You must teach your children that winning isn’t everything. Teach them to enjoy the game, not just the win.

I was THE Hockey Mom of the Year this weekend. I did all of the above and more.

Boy Oneder's team has not won a game yet, but Boy Oneder still feels like a million bucks…because I make him feel that way. He plays houseleague hockey. He will never be an NHL Star. Hell, he will never play anything more than houseleague level hockey. He just doesn’t have the talent. But he LOVES to play. Winning in houseleague hockey is almost irrelevant. At the end of the year, everyone will get a trophy. The old saying, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game” is such a motto for us. Most of the other kids are getting upset because they continue to lose, but some of the kids, like Boy Oneder, are out there on the ice each week enjoying themselves and doing their personal best. Sure, it would be nice to win once in a while, and I am sure that once the team gets closer and more comfortable with each other, we will start winning our games.

I wish the other Moms who consider themselves Hockey Moms would teach their children the same thing.

Have fun, do your best. If you do both of these things, then you are a winner regardless of the numbers on the scoreboard! Pin It

Saturday, 3 November 2007

Hockey, hockey and more hockey

When I signed the boys up for hockey, I knew that it was a time-consuming decision. It’s actually only 4 hours of ice time and about 2 hours of prep time each week, but on days like today, it’s a pain in the butt.

Middleman has practice at 10:00 at one end of the City and Boy Oneder has a practice at 10:15 at the other end of the City. That means Hubster has to take Middleman because Middleman is the goalie and I can’t put all his equipment on, especially with Threepeat in tow. I have to take Boy Oneder and help him with his skates (read as “tear the skin off my hands while tying his skates”).

Don’t get me wrong…I love being a Hockey Mom…just not so much on days like today. Pin It

Thursday, 1 November 2007

Newspaper route = Family Time

I have posted before that my two older boys are “Independent Business People”. They have a paper route and so therefore, they are working boys…kinda.

The paper route is more mine, Hubster’s and my mother-in-law’s. Sure, the kids help, but the work mainly falls on the adults. Hubster and I deliver the papers with the boys and MIL and I put them all together. Thursdays are the hardest because they are the big paper. We had 12 flyers to insert today, most of which were already bundled. The papers were huge and heavy and a pain in the butt to bag. We all (MIL exlcuded) headed out in the dark to get those suckers delivered by the deadline, 7:00 pm. Threepeat fussed in the stroller the whole time and Rosie kept getting her leash caught up in the wheels of the wagon (dumb dog).

Anyway, Hubster and I were discussing how much we were enjoying the paper route. Hubster commented that this was a great part time job and that he could do it when he retired. I *think* he was joking, but it got us to talking about how the paper route was great for the whole family. We were spending quality time together, getting exercise and fresh air AND we were away from the couch and the TV for a while. We have a few giggles at things that the boys do (like throw the paper and completely miss the porch, or throw the paper SO perfectly that it lands facing the right way, right on the door stoop) and we all share the responsibility for our route.

So, the boys are learning responsibility and committment, they are learning about making money AND they are spending quality time with the family. Who could ask for anything more? Pin It

Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Ding Dong the Mouse is Dead!

Well at least I *think* he’s dead.

Last night, the house looked like Fort Knox for mice. We had the 5 lots of poison, strategically placed by the pest control company, one live trap and 12 glue traps throughout the house.

I expected to come downstairs to a bunch of mice, fighting to get their little feet out of the glue, but, surprisingly, there were no mice to be seen. There were no little mouse poop pellets anywhere either! No tracks, no nothing.

We are praying that he has either left or died, and if he HAS died, that we find him before he starts to smell. Eww.

I’ll keep you posted. Pin It

Happy Halloween!

Another spooky Halloween is upon us…BOO!

I love Halloween. I love seeing the little ones all dressed up and the little, LITTLE ones, in their parents’ arms, just stunned by the whole event. This year, *I* have a little, LITTLE one and I can’t WAIT to show him off around the ‘hood.

I truly believe that adults enjoy Halloween more than the kids. When we get home and we sort the candy, it’s truly a “One for you, two for me” situation! LMAO!
Now…where’s my costume? Pin It

Monday, 29 October 2007

Heartbreaking and heartwarming

My little guy is growing up so quickly. I know we parents complain about it all the time, but being that Threepeat is my third child, I think I finally realize how quickly time does pass.

I find myself crying, literally, when I think of how fast he is changing. He is already becoming independent and I’m not ready for that. I want him to be a baby forever. I love his little dimples in his hands and his fat cheeks. I love his gummy smile and his baby coos. I love his fat little bum and his sweet little toes. I love his giggles and his hugs. I love that he chews on my hand and I love breastfeeding him.
(

I love that he is developing his personality and growing up perfectly. It warms my heart to see him interacting with his brothers, especially Boy Oneder. They have a really special bond and I love it.

I just want him to stay little. Pin It

Sunday, 28 October 2007

Fundraising and fundspending

This weekend was a weekend of raising and spending the cash!

On Friday night, Hubster, my Mom and I attended the fourth annual Life Over Lymphoma Fundraising Gala. The fundraiser is organized by Hubster’s late friend, Philip, suffered with lymphoma for 12 years before he finally lost his battle on May 9th, 2004…just 11 days before my Dad passed away from leukemia. We have attended 3 of the 4 galas, missing only last year because I was so sick with my pregnancy. Joanne does such a fantastic job and she should be proud of the committment she has made to her late husband’s dream of erradicating lymphoma forever.

Yesterday, Hubster and I took the boys, together with our neighbours, Franca, Eddie and Kathryn, to Buffalo for a shopping spree. $600 later, we have winter coats, new shoes and some much needed clothes. With the Canadian dollar at or above par with the US dollar, we would be stupid not to take advantage!

And so, money spent on a good cause on both counts. LOL!! Pin It

How could I forget???

Boy Oneder played hockey this morning and…he SCORED A GOAL!!!!!!!!!

He had a breakaway and the two opposing defencemen were right on his tail…they both kind of stuck their sticks out in front of Boy Oneder at the same time, and tripped him. One of them got a penalty and because he had a breakaway, Boy Oneder got a penalty shot.

My heart was in my throat, beating like CRAZY as he stood at centre ice, not QUITE sure what he was supposed to do, other than score a goal! LOL. The whistle blew and he took off down the ice. I was praying that he wouldn’t fall or lose control of the puck, because more important than scoring a goal is keeping your dignity. I could just imagine the kids on his team teasing him if that were to happen. He ALMOST lost control at one point and I swear I thought I would die right then, but he regained control and took a BEAUTIFUL wrist shot. It went right between the goalie’s legs. Boy Oneder skated down the boards on the side where I was sitting…well, jumping up and down like a crazy woman, screaming my head off, with Threepeat sound asleep in my arms and Middleman yelling and jumping right beside me!

As he skated past me, the look of absolute joy on his face was brilliant. It was a combination of shock, excitement, pride and pure joy as he raised his arms in the air and looked RIGHT at me. I don’t think there has been a more exciting moment for either of us.

We haven’t stopped chatting about it all day, so I am amazed that I forgot to blog about it!

Way to go Boy Oneder!!! Pin It

Saturday, 27 October 2007

A vent or two...

I have had a couple of humps in the road and I need to vent about them.

1…I am so sick of spam. I do NOT need a larger penis, I do NOT need viagra, I am not stupid enough to give anyone my bank account information so that they can deposit a million dollars into it as a “goodwill gesture” and I am not interested in replica watches. For the love of Pete…I get over 50 spam emails a day! Thank God for gmail’s filter. Hotmail’s filter isn’t as reliable though and I am just sick of having to wade through the crap to get to my “real” emails. UGH!

2…This mouse is going to be the death of me. Hubster and I bought a live trap, as well as 12 glue traps today. Add these to the 5 poison bait stations that the useless pest control company put around the house and I swear if he isn’t dead by tomorrow, he is Mighty Freakin’ Mouse. No mortal mouse could possibly survive all these traps…could he? UGH!

3…Middleman's friend, Mort the Wart is STILL on his toe. Just like the mouse, this thing refuses to die. I just spent $24.00 on freezing medication to kill that SOB too. Maybe once it falls off, I will feed it to the mouse from hell.

UGH!!!! Pin It

Thursday, 25 October 2007

Sleep deprivation

When I had Threepeat, I expected sleepless nights for a while. Imagine my pleasant surprise when he started sleeping 6-10 hour stretches when he was a mere 5 weeks old!

Threepeat is now 6 months old. Since he was 4 months old, he has decided that sleeping through the night is for wimps and therefore, he is up every night, at LEAST twice, but on average 3-4 times a night. The only thing that will console him is nursing. So, a couple of weeks ago, I accepted that “this too shall pass” and I just went with the flow, nursing him when he woke and then falling back to sleep. The sleep deprivation has built up though and for the last couple of days, I have been a complete zombie. It takes everything I’ve got to stay awake at around 5:00 in the evening. By the time bedtime comes, I have my second wind and I am up till midnight.

Last night was a complete disaster. He went down at 7:45, woke at 10:30, nursed, slept fitfully (he was dreaming I think) until midnight. Woke at midnight and NOTHING would put him back to sleep. I ended up giving him ovol drops and tylenol, thinking that maybe it was teething or tummy ache, but NADA. Finally, to let the rest of the house sleep, at 1:15, I took him out in the freezing cold to drive him around the neighbourhood and he was asleep within 10 minutes. I snuck back in the house and put him in his crib, but of course, I was wired and didn’t fall back to sleep till about 2:45. At 4:00 he was up again, fussing, pulling off when I tried to nurse him, but he fell back to sleep around 5:20. At 7:20, he was up for the day. Needless to say, life sucks today.

His naps are never more than 30 minutes on a good day, so my house is a sty because I have no chance to do anything.

So, anyone out there with any sleep advice? Crying it out, as you all know, is not an option in our home, but is there a gentle way to lengthen his naps and keep him asleep at night? Please comment or email me with your suggestion…before I die of sleep deprivation. Pin It

Oh for the love of everything holy!

We have a mouse…in the house. Not the kind of mouse you buy from the pet store…a dirty, disease-carrying, dirty, gross, dirty, gray, dirty, unsanitary, dirty, unwanted, dirty, creepy…did I mention dirty? WILD mouse.

UGH.

We live in the City…well the suburbs really, but my point is that we don’t live on a freakin’ farm. We shouldn’t have mice. It makes me feel all trailer-trash-like. I mean, CLEAN people don’t get mice, do they?

Oh. My. Gosh.

We have a mouse…well, I assume it’s a MOUSE and not a MICE. Oh my Gosh.

Rosie started sniffing behind our love seat about a week ago and MIL and I pulled it out to show Rosie that there was nothing there…but there frigin’ WAS something there. Oh my Gosh. I hope that it’s only been here a week and that it’s an “it” and not a “they”. Jeez Louise.

I got 4 traps from the dollar store, but I also got quotes from a pest control company. The guy wants $210.00 to place a poison throughout the house. He explained that they use an anticoagulant, so the mouse eats it and dies 6-8 hours later, usually in its nest, but there is no smell. Yay. No frigin’ smell of a dead mouse, rotting somewhere in my home. Fan-frigin-tastic.

I have called Hubster at LEAST 6 times on his Blackberry, but he’s not answering and he hasn’t picked up my message yet. UGH. As soon as he calls back, I am booking Mr. Pest Control Guy. I don’t care about the cost. The thought of a mouse/mice living in my home makes me physically sick to my stomach. UGH. Pin It

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Finally, it seems, a feel good post

Things are on the upswing once again. I feel like such a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel free.

- I have had a heart to heart talk with Hubster about stuff and we are now on the same page
- I have “cleaned out my closet” so to speak and have eliminated as much negativity from my life as I can
- I am on the computer less, which means more family time
- I had an AMAZING teambuilding session last night with the School Council and I think this is the year that we will turn it all around. I was extremely pleased with the way things went yesterday…exactly as I had hoped and planned. We have an amazing group of people and I see us doing BIG things

So…for today at least, life is good.

As for a kids update, Boy Oneder finished 36th out of 80 participants in the annual Cross Country meet. He would have finished better, but one of his teamates collapsed and he stopped to help carry him off the track (that’s my boy!). He was satisifed with his finish and we told him how proud we were that he stopped.

Middleman is, well, he’s Middleman. Our video gamer is usually too busy playing videos to do much of anything else. Especially since he got his PS2. Middleman is a goalie for his hockey team and as an incentive, before his first game, Hubster told him that if he got a shut out, he would win a PS2. Thinking this would last all season, Hubster was quite proud of his creativity in getting his boy to perform. The first game was a 6-5 win for Middleman’s team. The second game however, they won…wait for it….3-0!!!!!!! Hubster was shocked, I was over the moon and Middleman and Boy Oneder were BESIDE themselves with excitement. We drove straight over to Toys R Us after the game to pick up Middleman's trophy. Just before the third game, he asked Hubster, “Dad…if I get a shut out today, can I have XBox 360?” LOL!!! Of course, the answer was an emphatic, “NO!”

Threepeat is such a lovely boy. He turned 6 months on October 18th and is in such a rush to grow up. He has been sitting unsupported since he was 3.5 months old, so now, he can sit for over an hour playing on the floor. His sleeping habits leave something to be desired, but he is such a good baby when he is awake, that I can deal with the sleepless nights for a while longer. He is eating solids. He loves cereal, but could truly care less about anything else. We haven’t found a fruit or veggie that he actually likes yet, but he will tolerate peaches and peas. He had his first Mum-Mum cookie yesterday and he LOVED It. No choking, no gagging. He is a very big boy (approximately 22 lbs) and is wearing size 12-18 months clothes. He has a doctor’s appointment this morning, so he will have his 6 month needles and a check up.

I am NOT looking forward to going back to work in January. Although I work from home, I can’t imagine another responsibility on my shoulders. Ah well…I will try to enjoy my last couple of months as a SAHM and will make sure I keep buying my lottery tickets. ;o) Pin It

Saturday, 20 October 2007

Blessings abound!

I’ve had a very hard week. Alot has happened, and in reviewing the events, I think that everything that happened will end up being positive. I needed to clean house emotionally and I feel that I have done that. To end this week, I just wanted to take a minute to blog about the blessings I have in my life. I have been blessed with some amazing people and things in my life. Therefore, I want to count my blessings today:

My God:

I have a God who is forgiving, loving and all-knowing. When I need Him, He’s there. I am so grateful for the faith that I have aquired over the past few years. My life is better with God in it.

My wonderful family:

I have the three best sons in the world. They are my heart. They are my life. Each of them has such special qualities and they truly are my reason for living.

My husband is the most patient, loving father. He tries very hard to do right by the boys and I
and although there are days when I could wring his neck, my love for him is a deep, deep love. He is my soulmate, my confidante and my best friend.

My Mom and I have gotten so much closer over the past few months. I feel a connection with her now that I have never felt before. She is there for me all the time and I love her so much. I look forward to many years of wonderful times with her. I’m glad God chose me to be her daughter.

My mother in law…although some of the things she does drive me insane (what mother in law doesn’t??!!), she is the most wonderful Nanna to my boys. She lives to take care of us and she does a fine, fine job of it.

Friends. I have very few REAL, TRUE friends. I thought I had lots more, but when it comes down to the foundation, I have a handful of people in my life that I can count on 24/7. I could call them at any given time, and if I asked them to, they would drop everything for me, without question and without judgement. They know who they are…thank you.

I also have a handful of online friends, who have been there for me for many, many years and I love them dearly. A couple of those friends, I have never met in real life, but I feel like I am a part of their family. You know who you are too…thank you.

My neighbours…Franca and Eddie, Mary and Jack, Tina and Lino and Maria and Anthony…I couldn’t ask for a more fun, reliable, comfortable set of neighbours than we have. We are so much more than just neighours. I am so grateful for them.

My health and the health of my family. Health is SO important. Nothing else matters if you don’t have your health.

My material things:

My home, my car, my engagement and wedding rings, my laptop, my cell phone, my photos and memoriabila of my Dad, my sister and my childhood.

I have so very much to be thankful for, and coming off of the week I just had, it’s important to see the good things in life.

May God bless all of you who read this. Pin It

Friday, 19 October 2007

The date

Middleman and I had a date tonight…

Well, not in HIS opinion, but in mine.

Boy Oneder had a birthday party, so I decided to leave Threepeat with my Mother-in-Law and take the opportunity to spend an hour with my middle child. Before we left, I told him we had a date tonight, and he was a bit embarrassed by the word “date”.

After a (not so) romantic McDonald’s dinner, we each got an ice cream and ate them in the car, while we listened to some music. Out of the blue, Middleman says, “Tonight was not a date you know.” and the conversation went something like this:

“Yes we are…it’s you and me alone…that’s a date.”

“No it’s not…if it was a date, I would be driving…”

I smile, trying not to laugh…he continues:

“AND…I would be OLDER than you.”

I explained that girls can drive AND date younger men, but then explained that 38 and 8 was really not acceptable. LOL!

I realized tonight that he is a lovely little man. He is certainly not a talker like Boy Oneder is, but he is just so stinkin’ cute.

We have to do that more often. Pin It

Thursday, 18 October 2007

A good heart is better than all the heads in the world

So says Robert Bulwer-Lytton…whoever he was.

I have a good heart…so many people have told me this that I guess I just believe it. I try to be a good person, I try to help whenever and wherever I can and I try to live by the “Treat others as you would like to be treated” motto.

Unfortunately, there are people in this world (and alot of them from what I can see) that take advantage of my heart. Most of the time, it takes someone to TELL me that people are treating me like shit for me to actually see it. But lately, I am seeing it on my own. The ghosts of my childhood are rearing their ugly heads. By “ghosts”, I don’t mean the people…thank God they are out of my life for good, but the memories remain. Being bullied affected me deeply and, lately, I see that I am still affected. People come into my life and I trust them. I always give the benefit of the doubt. Most times, I get screwed. Used and abused. Once I am no longer “required”, these people move on to bigger and better things and leave me behind…

I have done some SERIOUS soul searching over the past few days. I have hit emotional rock bottom and in doing so, have stepped back and looked at all of the people in my life, both family and friends. I have taken inventory of those who make my life better and those who are just toxic people. I have now chosen to rid myself of toxic people…family, I can’t truly rid myself of (legally that is…LOL!) and so I have decided to no longer let them bully or hurt me. I will no longer let their thoughtless words and actions hurt me. I will no longer feed their ego by being hurt. I will no longer fan their flames by reacting. I will simply ignore behaviour that I feel is negative.

As for those outside of my family, I guess that’s a little easier. I will simply no longer associate myself with people who make me feel bad. I would tell my children to stay away from kids who hurt them, so why should adults be any different?

I will also learn to choose my friends more wisely. I need to be a little less trusting and naive and a little less good-hearted.

So, if you are one of my friends or family members and you see me making a bad choice…give me a heads’ up will ya? I seem to need some help in that department. Pin It

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Mort the Wart

Middleman has a wart on his fourth toe. It’s gross.

I took him to the doctor yesterday to confirm the diagnosis of “wart” and not “corn” cuz who the heck can tell the difference anyway? It’s gross either way.

So the doctor “burned” or “froze” it off (he used liquid nitrogen, which is SO cold, it burns) and said to come back in ten days if it’s still there.

Who the heck still gets warts? I thought they were a thing of the past!

Middleman thought the “smoke” that came out of his foot was pretty cool though. Dr. L poured what was left in the medicine cup into Middleman's shoe when he was done and his whole shoe was “smoking”. It was pretty cool to be honest! LOL! Pin It

Sunday, 14 October 2007

Sleep...or lack thereof

Oh man, am I tired.

Threepeat decided about six weeks ago that sleeping through the night was not the thing for him. From the age of five weeks, that little man slept 8-10 hours straight and life was just ducky. Six weeks ago, life became very difficult. Middleman now wakes several times every night. A bad night is every hour. A good night is twice.

Thank God (and knock on wood), he wakes only to nurse and then goes back to sleep, so the wake is a short one, but broken sleep just sucks. I am SO exhausted at certain points in the day that I swear I will drop. But then, come bedtime, I am PINGING! Wide awake and not sleepy…take now for example.

Not only is Threepeat not sleeping through the night, but his naps are ATROCIOUS. Here is his typical day:

6:30 am – nurse
7:00 am – up for day
8:30 am – 2-3 tblspns of cereal
9:00 am – nap
9:20-9:30 – awake
11:00 – nurse
11:15 – nap
11:45 – up
2:00 – nurse and nap
2:40 – up
4:30 – nurse
5:30 – Farley’s cookie and MAYBE, if he will take it, a fruit
5:45 – nap
6:00 – up
7:30 – bath
7:45 – bottle (5 ozs)
8:00 – sleep
10:30 – nurse
12:50 – nurse
3:30 – nurse

Yeah… it sucks.

I keep telling myself that this is just a phase. That before I know it, he will be Middleman's age and I will long for these days…but it’s hard. It is SO hard when you are so exhausted. I can barely function.

Every night, when I go to bed, I pray that THIS will be the night that Threepeat decides to start sleeping through the night again…and every night, when I wake up an hour after I go to bed to nurse him, my heart sinks, knowing that I will have one more day of exhaustion ahead of me.

This too shall pass…this too shall pass…this too shall pass. Pin It

Thursday, 11 October 2007

Moving on

Moving on after a death is such a work in progress. It’s a one step forward, two steps back kind of thing. Just when you think you are fine and have moved on, WHAMO! you are blasted again.

Joanne has been gone for 21 months now and the searing pain in my stomach when I think about her has all but gone now. Certain songs nail me and seeing her girls is still so hard, but for the most part, I have “moved on” to a new normal. A life without a sibling. I think that the girls have moved on as well. Joanne will always be their Mommy and I am sure they all have their moments, but again, for the most part, Joanne is now a passing memory as opposed to a constant thought.

Mark has moved on as well. And surprisingly, I am OK with that. He has met a wonderful lady and she has been in touch with me. I hope that through the couple of messages we have exchanged, that she knows that I am 100% on board with her being in our lives. Not that she needs my approval, but I think if I were in her shoes, the acceptance would be important to me. She seems like a very kind person and I am glad that she is giving Mark the companionship that he needs. I can’t fathom being in Mark’s shoes.

So, a new chapter has begun. I pray that God leads us all in His plan and that the girls will always be first and foremost in that plan. Pin It

Monday, 8 October 2007

Thankfully thankful

Today is Thanksgiving Day. I have had enough turkey to last me until…tomorrow. LOL. I absolutely LOVE turkey and I am looking forward to some leftovers.

We had an EXTREMELY busy weekend. Friday night, Boy Oneder had a hockey game.

Saturday morning, 9:00 hockey practice for Middleman…at one side of the City and 10:15 practice for Boy Oneder at the other end of the City. Saturday afternoon was dinner at my Mom’s house with BIL and the girls. D recorded a new ringtone for my phone…she is singing “Love is Something if you Give it Away…” It is priceless and now, I don’t think I will ever want to answer my phone again! LOL!

Sunday morning, the kids had to do their paper route (read as: Hubster and I had to do MOST of the work). Boy Oneder had a hockey game at 12:00. We then had to rush home, change and go to a Baptism. At 5:15, Middleman had a hockey game and then we had to rush to the banquet hall for the reception for the Baptism. A cold plate of pasta and a few fun dances later, we plopped into bed at 11:00.

This morning was breakfast and apple picking with Kath and Bru and the girls. We then stopped by the cemetery to visit Hubster’s Dad and then late lunch here with Hubster’s sister and family.

Now, I am sitting here in bed, past the point of exhaustion, killing time before Threepeat’s last “dream feed” of the night. If there was ever a night when I needed a good night’s sleep, tonight is that night!

After all is said and done though, it’s weekends like these when I realize how truly blessed I am. I have my health, my family, good food and good friends. As difficult as life is sometimes, it is nice to be able to bring it right back down to the basics and see how lucky and fortunate I am.

God has abundantly blessed me and my family. Thank You. Pin It

Friday, 5 October 2007

Madam Chair!!!

I was appointed Chairperson of Boy Oneder and Middleman's School Council last night!!!

The last few years have been a bit turbulent for Council with alot of controversy and ALOT of anger and arguments.

I hope with all my heart that I can bring the fun back to being on Council. I hope that I can help to solve alot of the issues that have made Council such a negative team.

Wish me luck…I think I’ll need it! Pin It

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Visit with a friend

I met an old friend for a coffee today. I haven’t seen her since high school.

She hasn’t changed a BIT and it was so comfortable chatting with her. It was like the 20 years melted away!

She still refuses to join Facebook though! LOL! I guess she realizes just how addicting the damned thing is!

Nice to see you today Rosy. I hope we stay in touch this time! Pin It

Monday, 1 October 2007

Immaculate conception

Middleman kills me sometimes. This is an old story, but one I never shared here, and it’s too good not to share.

Our neighbour, Marylinda, had just found out that she was pregnant…with twins. Middleman was completely in awe of the fact that she had TWO babies in her belly. There were tons of questions, such as “Does one baby sleep on top of the other?” and “Can they hurt each other?”, etc. Well, one question in particular was just priceless. Picture Middleman, myself and my mother-in-law sitting at the kitchen table, eating lunch. The conversation went like this:

“Mom…do you think Mary and Jack had….ummm….errrr….I’d better not say the word.”

“What Middleman? You can say it and I will tell you if it’s bad.” (I am oblivious as to what is coming)

“Do you think Mary and Jack had…(giggle)…ummm….SEX?!”

“Well, yes Middleman…Mary is pregnant, so yes, they had to have sex.” (OMG…My kid knows what SEX is???!!!)

“Yeah, but…you have Threepeat and you didn’t have sex. You just went to bed one night and in the morning, he was in your tummy!” (My mother in law and I are trying, albeit badly, not to laugh)

“Yes Middleman, you are right.”

End of conversation.

Let him think his mother is the next Virgin Mary…if only for a while! Pin It

Sunday, 30 September 2007

Torn

Should I or shouldn’t I?

As previously mentioned, I was voted in to Council at the boys’ school last Thursday. I’m very excited about working to make our school a better place and to regain the reputation that fellow parents and I worked so hard to achieve when the school opened in 2002. At this point, our school is the laughing stock in the region. Rumors are flying about the principal that left at the last minute last year; about the Superintendant of Schools that also left abruptly at the end of last year; about who is sleeping with who and so on. It is ridiculous. I feel like I am in high school again.

Last year’s Council was, from what I understand, a complete mess. The Chair of Council is the wife of our School Board Trustee…and you all know how I feel about HIM! UGH! In my opinion, this is a complete conflict of interest! I am on a mission to see whether it is in fact recognized as a conflict by the Board, but, in the meantime, I am seriously considering running for Chair. It’s a big job, but I know I can do it. I want to ensure that the same woman from last year does not get the position. So, I am torn. I need to decide whether to run by this Thursday. I think I would be a shoo-in because I have the support of at LEAST six or seven members, but do I really want the aggravation of it all?

Time will tell. Stay tuned. Pin It

Thursday, 27 September 2007

I'm IN!!

There is no feeling like the feeling of being accepted! I ran for Boy Oneder and Middleman's School Council and tonight was the vote. I GOT IN! There were 20 positions and 23 candidates. Apparently, there was a tie for the 20th spot, so they made 21 spots and I was one of those 21!

It feels so good to know that there are people out there who believe in me. People who chose me to represent them and their children! Coming from the girl who was almost always chosen last on the sports teams, I feel all warm and fuzzy tonight!

I have served on this Council before (for three years) and I ended up stepping down, in part due to my Dad’s death, but also because of the petty, juvenille gossipy princesses that were on Council at the time. Tonight brought in new faces, fresh perspectives and renewed excitement about things to come. I am pumped, to say the least.

I plan to run for Council Chair. This is a HUGE committment, but one I am confident that I can live up to. Every ounce of my being says I should do this and so, I will. We will decide the executive council next Thursday. I need to knock their socks off in order to be voted in!

GO DAWN! Pin It

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Great friends and...excess baggage

I spent yet another wonderful day with Julie and Katelyn…we shopped and had lunch. It is just so comfortable with them. Threepeat played footsies with Katelyn in her bed…like THAT is gonna happen in 10 years! I am so blessed to have such good friends in my life. I know I have said it over and over, but seriously…what I lack in family, I make up for with friends.

I also watched my boys at karate tonight. I am very, very proud of how far they have come. Boy Oneder is a blue belt…just brown and then he is a black belt! Middleman is a red belt and is almost ready to test for his green belt!

To end an almost perfect day, I cleaned out some stuff in the basement. I have SO much crap down there, it’s not even funny. Hubster took a huge load over to the Good Will box at the local plaza and I am feeling SO much lighter for it! I even got rid of some old suitcases, so I guess that means I got rid of some excess baggage! LOL!! Pin It

Sunday, 23 September 2007

Another milestone bites the dust...

And so, with this weekend, a new milestone.

Boy Oneder and Middleman are both members of hockey teams. We had a whirlwind of a weekend, running from arena to birthday party to arena to birthday party, but it was such fun.

The first one to play was Boy Oneder…4:00 on Saturday. It was just a practice, but it was with his team. He loved it and is of average ability.

Boy Oneder played again this morning at 11:00. Again, he loved it and held his own. He isn’t very aggressive, and he’s more of a defense kinda guy, but he can’t wait to play again next week.

Middleman played today at 12:30. He couldn’t get enough. He was in there like a dirty shirt, going after the puck as fast as his little legs would carry him. He has some serious natural talent and I can’t wait to see how this year goes for him. He volunteered to be the goalie, and will rotate with another boy each week. LOL…Hubster has the “deer in a headlight” look, realizing how expensive having a goalie in the family will be!

I am SO excited about spending our winter at the hockey arenas! That’s how Joanne and I spent our winters…running from ringette game to ringette game, loving every second of being part of a team. I love hockey in general, but to watch my kids play will be SO SO cool! Pin It

Saturday, 22 September 2007

Thank you

This is a message to a specific person…she knows who she is.

Thank you. I am flattered that you read me. I secretly read you all the time and that’s how I know you read me. I don’t think it’s coincidence that every time I blog about something, you have a similar post on your blog within a few days.

So, a wholehearted thank you. I’d love it if you would link to me…you seem to have alot of readers these days. Kudos to you. I’ll be watching for a link in your blogroll…that would rock. Pin It

The good old hockey game!

it’s the best game you can name!

And I am now an official “Hockey Mom”!! Boy Oneder and Middleman start hockey this weekend! I’m SO excited, but if this weekend is any indication, it’s going to be our lives for the next 6 months! Boy Oneder has a practice at 4:00 today and then Middleman has a practice at 11:00 tomorrow. Boy Oneder has a game at 12:30 tomorrow as well. Crazy!

So, I have to get myself a seat warmer and a big blanket…a LARGE Timmy’s coffee and I am good to go!

Next stop….NHL! LMAO! Pin It

Friday, 21 September 2007

Dawn 2, Mastitis 0

I thought it had beaten me this time.

I thought that my breastfeeding days were over. I truly did.

But, I am pleased to announce that Threepeat and I are still holding strong. My supply has rebounded and things are going really well!

Thank you to everyone who offered support over the past week. Your kindness was appreciated more than you will ever know. Pin It

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Mastitis

Mastitis is a bitch. An evil, horrid, sadistic bitch.

I am at the end of day three of a war with mastitis. It’s not my first battle with it either.

The first battle, in 1999, I won. It crept up on me with little warning one afternoon. I had a red lump and a really, really sore breast. I had no idea what it was, but it really hurt, so I went to the doctor. Of course, my doctor was fully booked that day, so I saw Dr. Little instead. She is lovely and she reminds me so much of Jamie Lee Curtis…anyway, she told me it was a plugged duct and that it can change to mastitis very quickly, which then could cause my breast to abscess, so she gave me a prescription for antibiotics, circled the lump in black marker and told me to come back the next day. She warned me that if I suddenly felt like I had been hit by a mack truck, to have Hubster fill the prescription, STAT and go straight to bed. We made our appointment for a recheck the next day and went off on our merry way.

Well….

At precisely 8:00 that evening, that mack truck hit me HARD! I suddenly felt like I was going to pass out, I was shivering and my whole body ached. Honestly, THAT quickly. I was fine two minutes earlier. So, I checked my temperature and sure enough, I had a fever. I told Hubster, who was resting comfortably on the couch that the mack truck had arrived and that he had to go and fill my prescription. He bitched and moaned and crawled off the couch to go and get my meds, while I moaned and suffered on his couch. Two days, high fevers, lots of advil, tylenol and antibiotics, nurse-pump-nurse sessions and SO much pain later, I was feeling semi-normal again, but my milk supply had dropped drastically. Middleman wasn’t nursing as well as normal because apparently,the taste of the milk is different…more salty…during mastitis. So I started pumping and nursing more, I took fenugreek till I smelled like a pancake house and my supply slowly increased. I ended up nursing Middleman for 18 months and loved every other moment of it. I won that battle!

This time, it looks like I will be the one to wave the white flag. Mastitis gave me a fever of 104 and hit me harder this time, which I never thought was possible. I truly thought I was going to die. Every inch of my body ached and the chills were nearly unbearable. My supply is drastically lower, despite pumping/nursing every two hours. My letdown reflex is much milder and Threepeat is refusing both breasts. When he does latch on, he growls in anger as the milk just doesn’t flow fast enough. The last 24 hours has been agonizing both physically and emotionally, as I think I have decided to stop breastfeeding. My heart is broken, but we are 8 years later and I am 8 years older and I just don’t think I have it in me to work and work and work at getting my supply back when he would just prefer the bottle anyway. Threepeat has never really enjoyed breastfeeding the way Middleman did and when he sees a bottle coming, he squeals with excitement. When my boob comes at him, if he doesn’t turn away, he just opens his mouth. No excitement, no joy. When he has a bottle, he gazes up at me lovingly. When he breastfeeds, he just sucks. So, he won’t miss breastfeeding…I will.

He is my last baby. I wanted everything to last forever this time. He is already five months old and growing so very quickly. The end of breastfeeding is just another nail in the coffin of being a mother to an infant and my heart hurts.

I will continue to nurse him through the night, because when he nurses in his sleep, it is wonderful, but I think the day time feeds will come to a gradual end.

I am so, so sad about it.

So, mastitis won this time. BITCH! ( Pin It

Monday, 17 September 2007

Interesting...

It’s funny…I check out postsecret every Sunday and almost every weekend, I find one postcard that I can truly relate to.

This week’s REALLY struck me though:



Lately, and I think it is since Joanne died, I spend SO much time looking for negativity. If anyone does anything nice for me, I assume they have an alterior motive. If anyone makes a mistake, I think they are stupid. I have such a hate for people lately and I truly don’t like who I have become.

I try to focus on the positive, but I always end up bitter and angry…and I want that to change. If I could be happy more than I am miserable, life would be a much better thing for me.

It’s sad really, because I have always been such a “glass is half full” kind of person, but lately, the glass isn’t half empty, it’s completely empty and, hell, it’s broken in a million pieces.

I wish I knew how to be happy again. I have everything to be happy about, but still, I am miserable. I wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel of darkness that is in my head. It’s hard to be positive when you feel so angry and hateful all the time. I don’t even know where the anger comes from, but it is nasty. It’s awful to hate people all the time.

I don’t mean to hate…honestly. I just do. Pin It

Saturday, 15 September 2007

Ugh...

I can’t remember the last time I was really sick. I’ve had a cold or two in the last couple of years, but I don’t remember feeling as sick as I have over the last couple of days.

I have a stomach bug. Either that or I have food poisoning. My stomach has been gurgling for two full days and nothing is staying in there. I am so tired and achy and I just want to crawl under a rock.

As you can imagine, breastfeeding is TONS o’ fun right now. I am dehydrated and I STILL have to give my baby 8 ounces every two hours. Oh yes…you read that right…every TWO hours. Why am I feeding a 5 month old baby every two hours, you ask? Oh that’s because just as this ailment struck me, Threepeat decided to begin a growth spurt. He has been up twice each night to feed and then attaches himself to me almost all day. Oh yes my friends…it has been GOOOOOOD times.

I am feeling a tad better this evening and I have been able to stay out of the washroom for about an hour, so I AM making progress.

Sigh…I’m not a happy person when I am sick…can you tell? Pin It

Friday, 14 September 2007

People change...or DO they?

I know so many people who have faced tragedy, loss, illness, death, etc. I am one of them. And so many of these people, when faced with whatever stress I mentioned above, SWEAR they will change. “I will be a better person.” “I will be kinder.”

I remember making a deal with God when my Dad was sick. I promised that if Dad would live, I would be the best Christian ever. I promised God every night that I would be a changed woman…well, Dad died and I am still the same old Dawn. I try to be a good person, but Dad’s illness and death didn’t really change anything.

There are at least four people in my life right now who are going through turbulence in their lives. I have heard each of them say that their situation has changed them…that they will be better people, kinder people, they won’t do all of the things they used to do.

But they haven’t changed. They are still the people who they always were…just people under stress and trial. Oh sure, they had good intentions when they swore to change, but they won’t change.

So I guess the point of this post is that people will never change. If you are born an idiot, you will die an idiot, no matter how much you want to stop being an idiot. LOL! Pin It

Monday, 10 September 2007

Innocence

A Postsecret secret caught my eye today.



Not only does the little girl look STRIKINGLY like Joanne did at her age, but the words hit me so hard.

I believed in Santa till I was 11. Yeah, I was a loser. But my parents did such a phenomenal job at being Santa, that I just believed blindly. I was devastated when I found out that all of the stuff my friends told me was true…my parents were Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Damn. That day sucked.

I snuck out of bed on Christmas Eve and watched from the little crack in my door as my parents took all of our gifts from their bedroom down to the family room. My heart was sinking, but at the same time, I was SO excited to see what was inside all of those lovely wrapped packages!

My parents made Christmas special EVERY year of my childhood and for that I am eternally grateful. I only hope I can do the same for my kids. Boy Oneder is now 11. I like to think that he still believes, but that would be ridiculous. Wouldn’t it? Pin It

Thursday, 6 September 2007

A common criminal

Yeah, that’s me.

Today, I broke a law…I idled my car for ten minutes. Yep…I’m guilty.

It was like 9000 degrees today and I drove down to my friend, Julie’s house for a swim. On the way home, Threepeat slept and when I got home, since he had only fallen asleep twenty minutes earlier, I left the car running while he napped a little longer in the driveway.

So today, I contributed to global warming. I robbed my children’s children’s children’s grandchildren of ten minutes of life. Sorry.

Oh please…cry me a river people. Name me ONE mother who hasn’t left the car idling in either the summer with the AC on or in the winter with the heat on, just so their child will sleep a wee bit longer! I, for one, can attest to sitting in my car, albeit with the engine turned off, in the fall, sipping on a fresh Timmy’s coffee, while Boy Oneder and Middleman snoozed away, oblivious in the backseat. Moms will do almost ANYTHING for a few more minutes of peace…trust me.

The transfer from a car seat to a bed is one of the most difficult manouevers a parent can master. Even the best of the best transferor messes it up once in a while.

It goes like this:

You look at your peacefully sleeping angel, you watch the breathing…slow, rhythmic. There is no twitching movement, no REM, just pure stillness…you are GOLDEN! You ever so slowly click the release button on the car seat base…the silence impresses you. You gently lift the carseat from its base, being extremely careful not to bump the baby or make any sudden movements. So far, so good. You leave your purse, your cellphone, your coffee…EVERYTHING in the car. You creep like a mouse to the front door, sneaking glances down at the baby…all is good. You slink up the stairs like a thief in the night, praying all the while that the phone doesn’t ring and the floor doesn’t creak. You make it up to the bedroom and silently place the car seat with the still out COLD baby in it on the bed. Your shoes are still on and the front door WIDE open, but you don’t care…you are almost there.

The snaps on the car seat are pulled so gently that they don’t make a sound. Baby is still sleeping. You subtly move the shoulder straps from the baby’s body and with a gentle stir and a sigh, the baby changes position and you FREEZE. You don’t breathe for about 45 seconds and once you realize the baby is still in deep unconsciousness, you continue with your mission. All that is left is the lift and bed placement. You are feeling good. You carefully lift your darling into your arms and in a swift, but gentle movement, you place the baby into the crib/onto the bed. He stirs, but then rests peacefully. The mission has been accomplished. You close the door without so much as a creak and you quietly tiptoe downstairs to close the front door.

That was a stressful five minutes, so you plop yourself on the couch for a well deserved rest. Your bum hits the couch and you take a deep sigh…

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Baby is screaming. You RUSH up those stairs to replace the pacifier that has inevitably left the mouth of your baby, but it is too late. The baby is wide awake, sees you, coos and smiles and holds his arms out to be picked up. It’s over.

And THAT my friends, is why I broke the law today. I don’t think ANY police officer who knows any mothers would DREAM of telling her to turn off the engine. He may lose an eye…or worse. Pin It

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

15 years ago

It was 15 years ago today that Joanne and Mark got married.

It was a beautiful, sunny September day and everything about their day was perfect. Joanne was like a little china doll, looking every bit as lovely as she always did. She was so young…only 20 years old, but she knew Mark was her man.

He wrote a song for her, which he sang at the church. He had everyone in tears, including Joanne.

Today would have been their 15th anniversary. She would have been 35.

I miss you Joanne…I’m sure Mark is missing you a little more than usual today. Pin It

Sunday, 2 September 2007

Memories

was thinking about my grandmother the other day (Dad’s Mom). She just turned 88 years old. She lives alone since Grampy died in May, 2004. She is slowly going blind, but she is FIERCELY independent. She refuses to leave the house she has lived in for over 50 years.

Unfortunately, she lives across the ocean in England, so I rarely see her. But when I do, she STILL holds me against her chest, hugs me tight and sings to me. Specifically, she sings one of two songs:

LITTLE MAN, YOU’VE HAD A BUSY DAY
(Mabel Wayne / Al Hoffman / Maurice Sigler)

Emil Coleman – 1934
Isham Jones – 1934
Paul Robeson – 1934
Ray Noble Orch. (vocal: Al Bowlly) – 1934
Perry Como – 1958
Sarah Vaughan & Count Basie – 1961
Dakota Staton – 1972
Monica Borrfors- 1994
Also recorded by: Connee Boswell; Bing Crosby; Art Tatum.

Evenin’ breezes sighin’, moon is in the sky
Little man, it’s time for bed
Daddy’s little hero is tired and wants to cry
Now, come along and rest your weary head

Little man, you’re cryin’, I know why you’re blue
Someone took your kiddy-car away
You better go to sleep now
Little man, you’ve had a busy day

Johnny won your marbles, tell you what we’ll do
Dad’ll get you new ones right away
Better go to sleep now
Little man, you’ve had a busy day

You’ve been playin’ soldier, the battle has been won
The enemy is out of sight
Come along there soldier, put away your gun
The war is over for tonight

Time to stop your schemin’, time your day was through
Can’t you hear the bugle softly say
Time you should be dreamin’
Little man, you’ve had a busy day

or

I’m dreaming dreams,
I’m scheming schemes, I’m building castles high.
They’re born anew, their days are few,
Just like a sweet butterfly.
And as the daylight is dawning,
They come again in the morning!

I’m forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air,
They fly so high,
Nearly reach the sky,
Then like my dreams
They fade and die.
Fortune’s always hiding,
I’ve looked everywhere,
I’m forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air.
When shadows creep,
When I’m asleep,
To lands of hope I stray!

Then at daybreak,
When I awake,
My bluebird flutters away..
“Happiness, you seem so near me,
Happiness, come forth and cheer me!”

I’m forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air,
They fly so high,
Nearly reach the sky,
Then like my dreams
They fade and die.
Fortune’s always hiding,
I’ve looked everywhere,
I’m forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air.

These are songs she used to sing to my Dad when he was little and I am glad I was able to find the lyrics online. Now, to find a site with the actual SONG on it!

I miss my grandparents. It breaks my heart to think that I am lucky enough, at the age of 38 to still have three grandparents alive, but not be able to see them because they live so far away. So, I’ll have to be satisfied with the songs and the memories, I guess. Pin It

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Get a job!

My boys are officially “Independent Business People”!

Today, they each signed a contract for a paper route. On September 9th, they will start delivering the Vaughan Citizen in our neighbourhood.

I had a paper route when I was a kid and it is HARD work. In fact, I thinkn it bordered on slave labour, but, I want my boys to learn the value of money and to realize that making money is difficult. I also want them to learn committment. They are not allowed to quit for at LEAST 6 months.

The money they earn with this job is their money…meaning, whatever they want to do with it, they can. Right now, they are planning on pooling their money and saving up for a Wii, but we will see how long they can save for before the dough burns a hole in their pockets!

They are really excited…I know it won’t last and soon they will be begging me not to make them deliver the papers, but for now, they are thrilled.

So, my boys are earning money! YAY Boy Oneder and Middleman!! Pin It

Monday, 27 August 2007

The zoo

It has been a few years since I visited the zoo. I forgot how much fun it can be.

Mom and I took the kids to the Metro Toronto Zoo today and we had SO much fun. There is a dinosaur exhibit, which had life-sized, moving dinosaurs…that was WAY cool. We went to visit Hubster’s relatives the gorillas…I could watch them ALL day. I find them fascinating. We saw the elephants, giraffes, lions, cheetahs and baboons, oh and some boring deer things. That was pretty much all we had time for. The zoo is HUGE and it takes more than one afternoon to walk it all.

I think I may take them back in the fall. I love the zoo. Pin It

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Sleep...at any cost

It’s almost every little girl’s dream to grow up and some day, become a Mommy. There are, of course, exceptions, but for the most part, little girls have something in them that wants to become a Mommy. We take care of our dollies like they were real little babies. If they cry, we meet whatever their needs are…usually a diaper change or a bottle…we make sure that they stop crying and feel good again.

So why, when we grow up, are real babies any different than our dollies? Hold that thought…

I am a member of several “Mommy Boards” where women from all over the world can post messages to one another about the trials and tribulations of motherhood. I have been involved in many different boards since about 1998, when Hubster and I decided to try for Middleman. Many of the women I met way back then are still together now on FUN These boards are fantastic in that they allow us to ask questions of one another and get support on issues from breastfeeding to teething to tantrums and everything in between.

Now that I am on my third child, I find that I am more on the giving side of advice than on the receiving side. I’ve been there, done that in most circumstances and it is nice to be a veteran, able to help first time moms with their questions. Lately though, I am finding myself getting angry at some of the things mothers are posting.

Anyone who has ever even considered having a child knows that with a baby comes disrupted sleep. You may be lucky and have a child who sleeps long stretches very early (like Threepeat, at 5 weeks) or you may have a child who doesn’t sleep through the night until 18 months (like Middleman). You may even have a child who is somewhere in between, who sleeps long stretches at around 6 months (like Boy Oneder). So why then, at four months of age, are mothers desperately seeking ways to make their child sleep through the night? Some of the ideas posted on one of my boards are:

- “Let them cry it out. It’s really hard for a few nights, but she’ll eventually get it. Have your husband deal with her if it’s too hard for you.”

- “Give him tylenol before bed. Maybe he is teething and in pain.”

- “Don’t give her a bottle unless you ABSOLUTELY have to.”

- “NEVER bring him into bed with you. What a terrible habit you would be starting.”

Many of these posts never use the words “Cry it out”…they use “sleep training” or “CIT” instead. I guess that takes the sting out of the way it sounds for them? But I digress….

Going back to my original question…why, when we grow up, are real babies any different than our dollies? And another question…why can’t we use COMFORT as a means to getting them to sleep? These women would rather give their children drugs than to comfort their baby in the night. That is RIDICULOUS!

Hubster and I have shared our bed with all of our children. Boy Oneder was with us until he was 4. Middleman joined us when Boy Oneder was 3 and so we got ourselves a kingsize bed. When Middleman was a year old, we moved the two boys into a queen bed together. They each have their own rooms now, but they choose to stay together…and that’s perfectly fine. Threepeat is in our bed and doesn’t even HAVE a crib.

I’m not saying that co-sleeping is for everyone, but why is it necessary to force our children to adhere to OUR schedule? Why is is so wrong for a baby to want his mommy in the middle of the night? Maybe he just wants to be held. Is that so bad? I can guarantee you that he won’t be crying for comfort every night when he is 18, no matter how much comfort you give him as a baby. In fact, it has been proven that the more comfort a baby gets when he is small, the more independent he is as an older child.

I posted once that I didn’t agree with crying it out and that Hubster and I were a child-led family. I explained that to me, “child-led” meant that we let the children decide when they were ready to meet certain milestones (ie: getting rid of the pacifier). I was scathed that day, saying that I was doing the child an injustice by letting them “rule” my life. That as parents, we need to set the bar and have the children adjust. That they were “family-led” not “child-led”. Ugh…whatever. They told me that I would be raising spoiled brats that no one would want to teach because I met their needs. Ask any of Boy Oneder and Middleman's teachers what they think of them…you will ALWAYS get, “I wish there were more children like them.”

In the selfish quest for a full night’s sleep, women are failing their children. We would hug and hold our dollies with so much love in our hearts, but we will only do that for our real babies if it’s convenient. If not, just lay them in their cribs and let them learn that life doesn’t revolve around them. If that doesn’t work, give them medication. Pretty damned sad.

I’m not perfect, not by ANY stretch. I make many, many mistakes as a mother. But at least I can say that I devoted myself to them as babies. I let them know that Mommy was there for them whether it was 2:00 in the afternoon or 2:00 in the morning.

My children, not sleep, are my priority…I have the bags under my eyes to prove it. Pin It
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