Saturday, 31 December 2005

My New Year's wish for all of you

Once I had a dream …

or maybe I read it and incorporated it.

Sometimes, memory of where fails me,

but I know it was good, really good.

There was a world,

and we all lived there, together.

There was peace among all faiths,

and all races; opportunity existed for all.

Everybody celebrated,

celebrated the joy of their uniqueness.

Sharing whatever they had with

those who had need, without obligation.

Together we shared

the planet that we were so blessed with.

The environment was nurtured like a baby,

protected from greedy users and abusers.

There was love there,

love for every living thing.

Understanding how creation of all life

directly relates to us on a personal level.

Joy was daily ritual,

joy for discovery of something new.

Not a form of obedience or requirement,

but a beautiful understanding of balance.

War did not exist,

there was no need for a defense budget.

We were all a part of the big picture;

all people had a voice, we were important.

This was a world of honor,

a world of Jesus and Mohammad,

a world of LaoTsu and Buddha,

where all paths have honor and validity.

Education was second nature,

learning became a way of life for all people.

Religion was not a means of conversion,

but a method of discovering ones own path.

May the new year bring you:

success in your business,

sunshine in your love life,

health in your physicality.

May your country bring you:

peace in world relations,

honesty in their rhetoric,

openness in their policies.

May our educators bring us:

freedom in our thoughts,

knowledge of all things,

lessons in how to think.

May you bring your world:

integrity in your dealings,

love in your friendships,

beauty in your creations.

Once I had a dream…

© 2002 By John Doelman

Wishing you a New Year of dreams come true.

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Friday, 30 December 2005

I'm getting a cold

My throat hurts, my head hurts and I feel like a bag of shit.

I took two vitamins this morning, so hopefully, I can nip this thing in the bud.

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Thursday, 29 December 2005

Getting my passport renewed

What a FRICKIN’ nightmare!

I need to provide pretty much everything except my right arm to renew my Passport. I mean, I understand that security is a good thing, but GIVE ME A BREAK! I need to find someone who is on the list of acceptable guarantors and get it all signed before I can even begin to stand in line for 4 hours to get this shit done.

My existing Passport isn’t even expired until Tuesday. So, pray tell…why can’t I just bring in the old Passport with new photos and have them issue a new one??!! Instead, I have to take time off work to do all this crap.


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Wednesday, 28 December 2005

So tired

Oh, so tired.

Christmas has worn me out. I am so exhausted. I didn’t sleep last night (thanks Hubster) but I know if I go to bed too early, I will be up at 2:00 am.

I just have to stay awake for another hour….. Pin It

Tuesday, 27 December 2005

New Life

Yesterday was a wonderful day. I “assisted” in my second certifying birth as a doula. Sheila from my office, gave birth to a beautiful little boy. He weighed 7 lbs, 13 ozs and was delivered by caesarean section after two hours of pushing.

It was, just like every other birth I have attended, wonderous and magical.

I thank God for the opportunity to experience birth over and over again.

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Sunday, 25 December 2005

Merry, Merry Christmas!

What a day! I am so exhausted. We were up at 7:50 (The boys were so cute…I was already awake, lying in bed, when I heard them whispering to each other so excitedly. They tiptoed into our room so that they wouldn’t wake us and I told them it was OK.

We all went downstairs and Boy Oneder LOST it when he saw his bike! We was absolutely thrilled. He rode it up and down our hallway all day!

We went to my Dad’s grave and I lit a candle for him and then we visited Hubster’s Dad’s grave.

Hubster’s sister and her family came over for lunch at 1:30 and we ate like PIGS. We played games all afternoon and then my sister and her family came over at 5:00. By 8:00, everyone was gone and I was cleaning…I did FOUR dishwasher loads today!

So, I am tired, but it’s a good tired…I spent the day with my family and I am so thankful for that.

OH!! The boys got me some bath stuff and Hubster got me a Spa Certificate for a manicure, pedicure and facial…he even booked me the appointment for the Saturday before we leave for our cruise….how thoughtful was THAT? Pin It

Saturday, 24 December 2005

Spyware sucks!

I just had to completely reimage my entire PC. I lost my PSP program and ALL my photos. I was completely infested with spyware, despite the fact that I had Ad-Aware, Spybot and Microsoft Anti-spy, which I ran DAILY.

Piss me off.

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Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

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Sunday, 18 December 2005

Down, down, down

Bluer than blue; sadder than sad…just plain down.

I can’t shake it…just can’t climb out of this hole.

Feeling like I have to put on my smile all the time. Nothing makes me happy…nothing.

Trying to get through the Christmas season and trying to look forward to our cruise…

I have so much to be thankful for and yet I am a miserable bitch.

Today, life SUCKS.

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Friday, 16 December 2005


I am listening to “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban as I surf the net and I *still* get that pain in the pit of my stomach when I listen. It brings me right back to Dad’s funeral, just like that.

I’m not crying, but I feel that familiar pain. I can almost smell Dad’s cologne. Very strange feeling.

I so wish that Josh was on tour…I’d love to see him in concert.

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The boys are at Joanne’s house for the night…playing with their cousins. They are having a Christmas party at my sister’s tomorrow so we figured that they would have fun staying over.

Now, I SHOULD be cleaning the house, putting away laundry, wrapping gifts or bathing the dog, but I’m not. And I won’t. Kidless nights are so few and far between that I plan on playing on the net ALLLL evening. It helps that Hubster is writing his final exam tonight, so he’s not home to nag me to “be productive”. NICE!

I adore my family, but I really like alone-time…gonna use it to its fullest capacity! Pin It

Wednesday, 14 December 2005

Snow is coming

They’re calling for a DOOZY tomorrow…20 cms between tomorrow and Friday. Should be a FUN ride home tomorrow night and back to work on Friday. UGH!

I juat wrapped 16 Christmas gifts for my team. Man, I hate wrapping. I’m excited about handing them out tomorrow though…I’m such a sucker for “giving”…I actually prefer giving over receiving. It just gives me such a kick to see other people’s enjoyment.

10 more sleeps till Santa!!!

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Tuesday, 13 December 2005

I think I have figured it out

the reason for my sadness that is…

It’s my Dad. It’s deep inside, but I think his absence during the holidays brings me down. I haven’t really noticed that I am thinking about him more or anything, it just that when he does pop into my head, it’s a heavy, heavy sadness.

I guess I need to get my head around the fact that the holidays will never be the way they were. He is gone and is never coming back. It’s hitting me too that Mom is leaving on the 21st of December for England and won’t be back until February 5th. Throw into the mix that we are leaving for our cruise on February 2nd and that means I won’t see her for eight weeks. That’s a LONG time to be “parentless”.

So, I guess the first step is figuring out what is causing the blues…now I need to deal with them somehow.

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Monday, 12 December 2005

Some Christmas fun

Thanks to Julie for this little bit of Christmas fun…

Hot Chocolate or Egg Nog? Neither really, but if FORCED to choose, Hot Chocolate

Does Santa wrap the presents or just set them under the tree? He wraps them!

Colored or white lights on the tree/house? ALWAYS white. I can’t stand trees (and homes) that are all over the place with too many colours.

Do you hang mistletoe? Nope.

When do you decorate? This year, we decorated on December 4th. Our outside lights were up at the end of November, but not turned on until The first weekend in December. We usually decorate the first weekend in December.

What is your favorite holiday dish? Roast turkey with ALLLLL the trimmins’!!

Favorite Holiday memory as a child? My parents (especially my Dad) made sure that every Christmas was special. I think that may be why I am feeling so down right now. It’s not even a fully conscious feeling of missing Dad, but this time of year was his favourite, so it is obviously affecting me, more than even *I* know.

Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve? Nope. Last year, we let the kids open one gift each just to be different.

What kind of cookies do you set out for Santa on Christmas Eve? Chocolate chip.

Snow! Love it or hate it? HATE it…except on Christmas Day.

Can you ice skate? Yes. I played ringette all my life, so I can kick ass at skating.

Do you remember your favorite gift? Hmmm…there are so many special ones, that it’s hard to choose just one. I guess I’d choose the Cabbage Patch Kid that I got during the HUGE craziness in the 80’s. We had opened all of our presents and thought we didn’t get one…next thing, the doorbell rings, we open the door and there are two gifts there…a Cabbage Patch Kid for my sister and I. We didn’t even notice that Dad had disappeared to “deliver” them.

What is the most important thing about the holidays for you? To be with family and friends and to be charitable to those who are in need.

What’s your favorite holiday dessert? English Trifle.

What’s your favorite holiday tradition? Pulling Christmas Crackers.

What type of tree? For the last two years, we have had real trees. This year, everything on the tree is silver and blue.

Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Definitely giving. I get such pleasure out of watching the boys’ excitement at getting what they wanted.

What is your favorite Christmas Carol? Gosh….so many of them. I guess I’d have to choose Mary’s Boy Child by Boney M

Candy Canes, YUCK or YUM? Yum!!

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Sunday, 11 December 2005

I don't know what's wrong with me

I just feel so blah. I have no patience, I am moody as hell, I can’t be bothered with anyone or anything…I just feel…..blah.

It’s a strange feeling. I just want to be left alone. I want everyone to just LEAVE ME ALONE. Stop asking questions, stop wanting attention, stop talking to me, stop sitting with me…just leave me alone.

God forgive me for saying that because I know if they DID leave me alone, I’d be lonely.

I think I need a weekend, in a hotel, with just my computer, a couple of really good books, a few bottles of wine and a jacuzzi tub. sigh….wishful thinking.

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Monday, 5 December 2005

Feeling a little blue today

Don’t know why…there is no reason really…just a little down. Christmas is hard because I really miss my Dad. Dad was all about Christmas. He loved this time of year.

I also miss my Max. He was such a pain in the ass when he was here, but he was MY pain in the ass…I miss his little face; I miss his stubby little tail wagging so hard his entire back end wagged with it; I miss his kisses.

I’m just in a zero-patience mood tonight, so I am staying away from the kids just as a precaution. I don’t want to yell at them for MY mood.

So, I am here on the couch, playing on the net and watching Nanny 911 (man I love this show). I think I’ll go to bed at 10 tonight…maybe I’m just tired.

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Friday, 2 December 2005

Parent/Teacher Interviews

We met with the boys’ french teacher and Middleman's grade one teacher last night. Boy Oneder's teacher is off on personal leave, so we have to wait until January to meet with him.

They are both doing very well in French and their teacher is very impressed with them.

Middleman's teacher says he is a very good boy. We need to work on making him more confident and outgoing (he never raises his hand to answer a question for fear of being wrong). He is very focused and uses his time well in class. He is a bit of a “follower” in that he gets into a little trouble when he is with the mischieveous boys. This is something that I am concerned with because it’s all good now, but I want him to be strong as a teenager and to resist peer pressure!

Overall, he is a good boy and the teacher has no concerns. Yay Middleman! Pin It
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