A Shepherd and his Lamb

The Shepherd loved His little lamb,
And gave it His tender care...
And followed it with His loving eyes
As it wandered here and there.

And as He sat by His grazing flock
Who so meekly His voice obeyed,
He pondered sadly His little lamb
As again and again it strayed.

The little lamb had a loving heart,
And adored His Shepherd, true,
But would turn aside and seek his own way
As lambs will so often do.

With His gentle voice the Shepherd called,
To His loved and straying lamb,
"Come back, little one, for you are not safe
Unless you are where I am."

But still the lamb would soon forget
And unthinkingly wander away,
And not really noticing what he did,
From the Shepherd's side would stray.

Until one day, the Shepherd kind
Took His rod in His gentle hand,
And what He then did seemed so cruel
That the lamb could not understand.

For with one sharp and well-aimed blow
Down the rod so swiftly came
That it broke the leg of the little lamb
And left it crippled, and lame.

Then the little lamb, with a cry of pain,
Fell down upon his knees...
And looked up at his Shepherd, as though to say,
"Won't you explain this, please?"

Then he saw the love in the Shepherd's eyes
As the tears ran down His face,
As He tenderly set the broken bone,
And bound it back in it's place.

Now he was utterly helpless,
He could not even stand!
He must trust himself completely
To his Shepherd's loving hand.

Then day by day, 'till the lamb was healed
From the flock he was kept apart...
And carried about in the Shepherd's arms,
And cradled near to His heart.

And the Shepherd would whisper gentle words
Into his now listening ear...
Thus he heard sweet words of love
That the other sheep could not hear.

He felt the warmth of the Shepherd's arms
And the beat of His faithful heart...
Until it came a blessing to seem,
By his weakness to be set apart.

Every need of the little lamb
By his Shepherd so fully was met
That through his brokenness he learned
What he never again would forget.

And as the broken bone was healed,
And once more became whole and strong...
Wherever the Shepherd's path would lead,
The lamb would follow along.

Thus at the Shepherd's side he walked
So closely, day by day,
For once a lamb has a broken leg
It will never again go astray.

For the cords of love had bound it so
In its hour of weakness and need...
That it had no desire to wander away,
When once again it was freed.

Could it be you are broken today,
And you cannot understand
The painful blow of the Shepherd's rod
Nor believe it came from His hand?

He only seeks, by this painful thing,
For a time to call you apart...
To cradle you close in His loving arms,
And draw you near to His heart.

So look up into your Shepherd's eyes,
And earnestly seek His face...
And prove in the hour of your weakness and need
The sufficiency of His grace.

For as you are borne in His loving arms,
And carried there, day by day...
He will bind you so close with the cords of His love
That never again will you stray!

author unknown

Blue Monday

So, apparently, today is Blue Monday...the most depressing day of the year?

Whatever.

I won't let it get me down. I am listening to some GREAT music on Boom 97.3 and working away the blues!

I thought it would be a good day to name a few things I love. So, randomly, here are a few:

Cold spots on the sheets and pillows in the middle of the night.

Having my room cold at night so I have to snuggle down deep to stay warm.

Cuddles with Threepeat. He is such a good cuddler.

A surprise in the mail...not a bill and not necessarily cash, but maybe a card or something.

Winning a game of Words with Friends on my Ipad (it's rare that I win!)

The feel of warm sand on my feet and warm sun on my face.

The sound of my boys' laughter. In fact, the sound of any children laughing and playing!

Five Question Friday...

Just for Katie !

1. What's the the last thing you bought for yourself?

My diamond ring in Cabo San Lucas. :)

2. What is your favourite meal on a cold winter day?

Definitely a roast dinner with all the fixings. I am SUCH a Brit when it comes to my roast dinners.

3. Have you started looking at swimsuits for this year, and do you buy a new one every year?

No, no, no, no, NO! I hate bathing suits. Mine are all old and ugly. Maybe if I ever have a bathing suit body again, I will splurge on a new one, but I don't see that happening any time soon!

4. If you could be any candy what would you be and why?

Gosh...what a weird question! LOL...I've never thought about it. Hmm....maybe Smarties because they taste good? LOL

5. What are you most passionate about?

Anything to do with my kids. My kids are my world. Mess with them, face my wrath...trust me, you DON'T want to go there!

Bonus question: what is your favourite thing to pin on pinterest.com?

I only just started using pinterest...in a really half-assed way. I am currently learning to Tweet thanks to Kate and I can only focus on one thing at a time.

Happy Heavenly 40th Birthday Joanne

Today would have been Joanne's 40th birthday. My heart aches when I think about it. She was only 34 when she was killed. She should be here celebrating with us.

Instead, my Mom is coming over and we will have a cake in her memory.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Joanne.

I love you.

Left Behind

I wish you could come back to me,
If only for a while.
I wish I could hug you just once
And see your pretty smile.

There was so much just left unsaid,
So much we had to do.
So many dreams left unrealized
I’m left here without you.

The ups and downs were hard to take,
We fought alot it’s true.
But underneath the arguments
Were just different points of view.

I miss your laughter and your jokes.
The way you sang out loud.
I even miss your lectures
Oh my gosh, you made me proud.

I never really told you
How much you meant to me.
I wish with all my heart and soul
That now you truly see.

Every day’s a struggle now,
You’re always on my mind.
I wish that I was with you now
And not here, left behind.

- Dawn

Flu...New Year's style

I was sure that Boy Oneder's three day fever and mild illness at the beginning of December would be our only sickness of fall/winter, 2011. And it OH so nearly was. But....

Hubster and I headed out onNew Year's Eve to pick up Japanese food to bring home to the kids. All was well until about half an hour after dinner. When I say "suddenly", I truly mean like within minutes...Suddenly, I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. My head started to pound, my stomach started to hurt and I felt so weak. I had complained earlier in the day to Hubster about a backache. In the middle of my back, on both sides, it really ached. But I figured I had slept funny or something.

I took my temperature once I started feeling so badly and it was surprisingly normal. I really felt that foggy feeling that only a fever brings. I suddenly (there's that word again) felt freezing and while Hubster played cards with the boys, I laid on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, shivering. I wanted nothing more than to just go to bed, but it was only 6:30 on New Year's Eve...how could I be a party pooper for my boys??? Ugh...

So, because I am an excellent mother, ;) I stayed and suffered on the couch all night, all the while, fighting heartburn, terrible stomach and head aches and muscle pain in places I didn't even know I had them!

By the grace of God, midnight FINALLY arrived and Hubster popped the bottle of sparkling wine. He poured a sip in each of our glasses and we toasted 2012. I immediately headed to bed. I tucked the boys in and literally fell into my bed.

I tossed and turned all night and woke up in the morning feeling like I had run a marathon. The aches and pains through my back, legs, arms, neck....were almost unbearable. I did a load of laundry and tried to get some tidying done, but the fatigue stopped me. I took a shower and laid on the couch until it was time to head to Mom's for dinner.

Mommy said she would take care of me when I got there and she did. She made an awesome roast dinner (funnily enough, I have a huge appetite through this whole illness). Hubster was amazing and kept the boys occupied in the basement while I dozed on Mom's couch. My eyes were on fire and I felt worse than ever. By now, I *knew* I was fevered. Mom's thermometer was clearly not working when it read 96.3. Sigh.

We headed home at about 9:00 and as soon as I got home, I checked my temp...100.9. Not high, but there. I took Advil and made a cup of green tea and headed to bed. I was up most of the night, first freezing, then burning up. My fever fluctuated between 100 and 101 all night. This morning, I was still fevered, still achy and still so tired I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. My amazing Hubster took care of the boys all day and I haven't had to get up at all, except to use the washroom or get something to eat. My fever steadily rose throughout the day and at 5:45, it was 101 again, so I took a dose of Advil. I am feeling a bit better now that the Advil has kicked in, but just walking down the stairs to get a glass of water knocks me out!

I'm praying that I am on the mend now and that the worst is over. The only other time I remember feeling this bad was when I had mastitis!!!

At long last, a Christmas update...

Christmas was great.

Mom came over on Christmas Eve and stayed for a fish fry-up. MIL made the dinner on Christmas Eve, as is her tradition.

At 7:00, Mom and I went to the Christmas Eve service at my new church. It was full of singing and love. The sermon was very fitting and Mom and I shed a few tears along the way.

Back home by 8:30, and we all just vegged in the family room, watching tv.

I had to wake Threepeat up at 8:15!!! We all headed downstairs and opened our gifts. Santa was good to all and we had fun for about an hour before everything was opened and the family room was a DISASTER of toys, clothes, boxes and wrapping paper!! All that work and the whole thing was over in less than an hour!

MIL left for SIL's house at around noon...Hubster drove her so that they could visit the cemetery and then Hubster could drop MIL off. Mom and I started the Christmas dinner preparations...a beautiful fresh turkey with stuffing, sausage meat, roasted potatoes, turnip, spinach., peas, Yorkshire puddings and gravy. Mmmm....it was divine!

After supper, we watched "Mr. Popper's Pengiuns"....what a great movie! We all loved it!

We chilled out until late in the evening and then headed to bed. MIL slept at SIL's. :)

Boxing Day morning, we woke up and cleaned a little bit. Hubster took the boys out and Mom went home while I showered.

We went over SIL's house for a few hours.

Next, we headed over to our besties' house. Time with Kath and Bru is ALWAYS good. We laugh like hyenas and have a great time. We had Chinese food and wings and I made a cheeseball that was a real hit! Now that the kids are older, it's nice to have them take part in some of our conversations! The kids exchanged gifts and we sat around the kitchen table, chatting for a few hours and then it was time to go home to bed.

December 27th was Mark and Patricia day. We headed over to Mom's in the afternoon and had pizza and wings with everyone. LOVED seeing my sweet nieces and nephew (poor Ben is the only boy in the family of 6 kids). He really likes spending time with my boys when we get together. Courtney is SO like Joanne, my goodness. Everyone loved on Grandma's little puppy, Milo and we had a blast watching a "Kitchen Nightmares" marathon! Just like with Kath and Bru, the laughs are flowing when we are with Mark and Patricia and their clan! The kids exchanged their gifts and then it was time to head out for the night.

I worked on the 28th and yesterday and have a half day today. We are spending New Year's Eve at home with the boys, playing board games and watching movies...our favourite way to spend New Year's Eve. :)

How was your Christmas?

Twelve blessings of Christmas

1. My sons. They are truly the lights of my life. They make me smile when I am sad, their hugs warm my heart and their laughter makes even the worst day better.

2. My husband. He loves me, even with my many flaws. He stands by me and is there for me.

3. My home. A place to keep me warm and dry in the winter and cool in the summer. A place that holds many memories...good and bad. A place where I feel safe always.

4. My Mom. All we have is each other these days and I can't imagine life without her.

5. My job. As much as it drives me crazy with stress sometimes, I am thankful for the ability to work from home for a company that has been good to me for fifteen years next month. I have some friends at work that I love dearly and am grateful for fantastic co-workers as well.

6. My health. Although some days, I feel like a 90 year old, I, for the most part, have my health. I am grateful for both my health and for the health of my family.

7. My friends. I have a handful of friends who I know I can call ANY time...day or night and they will be there for me. A few of those friends have fallen through the spaces between my fingers and remain aquaintances, but the few that are still in my hand mean the world to me.

8. My internet friends. I have many friends, from places all over the world...Canada, USA, England, Germany, Japan, Australia, Israel...I am blessed to have them in my life and love them like I do my real life friends.

9. My blog. I love to have this place to come and share things. My blog is my therapy and I am grateful for this place to vent, yell, scream, laugh and cry.

10. My church. I have found such comfort and love in this place. I feel welcome whenever I walk in the door and I have learned so much from the Sunday services and the Alpha course. I am so happy to have a place to go and pray and be prayed for.

11. Hope. I finally have hope that I will one day be a truly happy person. I am on my way, thanks to the last few months and some real soul searching. I still have hard days, but they are MUCH fewer and farer (is that a word) between. :)

12. God. He's been here all along, waiting for me, but I FINALLY let Him in. My gosh, what was life without Him? What a waste of 41 years...hopefully, He and I can make up for the last 41 with a FANTASTIC 41 more!